About the Snake

Since there have been some inquiries I thought I'd explain about the python that appears in that photo.

Well my talented brother wanted to take family portraits as Christmas gifts for the parentals (which totally worked. My mom would have cried if we let her). So we went down the street to an empty lot and took pictures in front of an old maroon Chevy. The owner of the Chevy came out of the neighboring house and asked us if we needed the car moved or repositioned. We said we were fine, and it was all good. He returned 1+1/2 minutes later with a 15 foot python. And that's the explanation I have.

We took some pictures because how could we not? Apparently its the oldest python there is at 42 years old. A little while later the owner brought out a second python and we took some more pictures cuz life is just that awesome with two 15 foot, 40+ year-old pythons.

One life goal checked off the list.

Thank you friendly neighborhood snake-man.

Just the neighborhood python out for a stroll.

So my yearly portrait included a Burmese Python.

Did yours?

Some Pretty Pictures

So here are some paintings I've come across during my sojourn in the academic world. And I like them, for various reasons.

This one depicts Ajax (the Lesser) abducting Cassandra from her sanctuary of Athena (for which Athena punished Ajax by blasting him with a lighting bolt. Lesson: Don't mess).

This is a painting of the Romantics depicting the suicide of Chatterton. It is terribly sad (especially since he was only 17) But the painting is a great work of art I think. The play of blue and red, the symbolic rising sun and the open window. I saw it at the Tate, which was awesome.

This is a somewhat happier painting. It shows the sculptor Pygmalion as his glorious work of art comes to life as Galataea. I love how you can see her transformation as it is taking place. Cool stuff.

This is why life is still good, even during finals.

So what if it's stolen from another blog? Such happiness must be spread, I tell you!

Look at me being all artistic

So in desperate need for creativity I brought out my old watercolors and painted.

This one makes me happy. It's just... yeah. Happy.

Here's another sailboat. I got the idea from a handkerchief I have. I just copied the shape, then played with the patterns.

This one if part of a 10 hour project I have to do for my New Testament class. If I'm being bold I call it "Rejoicers Among the Mourners" (but I don't think I'll be bold about this one). It's the Marys running in to tell the apostles that Christ is risen. Despite how ridiculously long this took me I don't like it much. It's so stiff, and I can't really paint. It just looks so basic. Maybe I'll try this again once my skills are warmed up. But I like the idea.

Good Times

So instead of working on a rather daunting paper that is still very much in the worrying stage (that sits looming before the thinking stage-- which is WAY before the writing stage) I've decided to sit down and rehearse to you an event that happened last week.

Last Thursday I ran into my Asian Humanities class about a minute and a half late. The teacher was at the front of the class, bringing it to order and calling on someone to pray. Now there are many seats in this quite full classroom and I usually sit near the front when I want to see the board, so I was rushing in between two rows which were placed a bit too close together. The praying boy stood up and everybody got quiet then WHAM. My foot went through some Swiss boy's backpack strap and put a very abrupt stop to my scurrying. I flew admirably and landed with a smack full length along the floor. I couldn't quite catch myself since there was a partially drunken breakfast shake in one hand so I landed hard without a shred of grace (save for the shake that miraculously stayed in its cup). Everywhere were feet, backpacks, and I could hear the chorus of Oh's and Are-You-Ok's? scattered above me as every student craned their necks and raised themselves out of their seats to see my spectacle.

I tried to get to my feet, but I only had one injured hand and my knee was stinging. Plus my foot seemed to only get more and more tangled during my attempt. The owner of this malicious bag finally had to get off his seat and unwrap my legs from the bag and I was able to get up. All around me were staring eyes, some concerned, some empathetically embarrassed. The two boys ahead of me scooted their desks away from me, giving me the room I obviously need when maneuvering. When I finally sat down and assured the baited class about 4 times that I was fine the other standing student was finally allowed to pray. I could hardly keep silent during the prayer because I kept erupting in not-so-silent laughter. Chuckle chuckle. So funny!

So cheers to me!

my birthday

It was my birthday, so I had a party. Here is some of what it looked like.

Pewter, pumpkins and candlelight. So enchanting!

Bahahha! Those little dressed up pumpkins make me so happy.

My ring selection is awesome. And so is my nail polish.

Everyone got a mustache! Or monocle. This produced some very interesting results. Just imagine the inner characters that surfaced. All they needed was a bit of fuzz above the lip and accents abounded, both in prose and lyrics, also accompanied with amusing facial expressions. Highly entertaining.

Here is the cake my brothers decorated for me. In the very center was a giant marshmallow, impaled with candy corns and topped with a giant plastic eye. Truly Halloween. They thought they were so clever for not only putting on the googly eyes, but also covering some up with frosting, so as to be a hidden surprise for some poor Bruce in want of chocolate cake.

But it was all fabulous! Very fun and filling. Thank you friends!

Lake Powell

We went to Lake Powell last week, just us adults. And it was all very fun. We wakeboarded, air-chaired, played horse-shoes and told stories around the camp fire. Memorable, fun, and often hilarious.

Here are the spectators of the horse-shoe match. Please note the plethora of cranial protection. Also the fact that the gentle-lady in the pink bonnet is my 98-year old grandmother.

This is me participating in the hors-shoe tournament. Was pretty much awesome, so ya know.

My uncle and me, winning the tournament. Told you I was awesome. My ringer ended the game (only after Danny dragged us all the way to the top).

Grandma again. We pumped her full of sweets then let her sugar-crash out in the water.

Other things of interest:

• There was one wallet lost in the water, which was retrieved with mask and dive the next day.
• This family is highly competitive (which resulted in various strategies of commentary, encouragement, distraction, and eventually evident avoidance of the other team).
• I learned how to play bridge with my 98-year old grandma.
• This family has the best stories to tell around the fire

FOR EXAMPLE:

Hootie once drove his friends for some camping trip up in northern Utah. They were pulled over by a cop and had to use the rest of their money to pay him off. They then continued to drive, and Hootie decided it was fun to light bottle rockets out the window of the moving vehicle. Naturally one flew back into the car and bounced everywhere before landing in the driver's console. This resulted in a moderate crash that tilted the entire frame of the car. But no worries. On to fishing!

They finally made it, and caught some illegal fish but couldn't eat them before the Fishing and Game Inspector came over. But they still had fun by strategically placing a dead snake for one of their friends to find.

But when they needed to go home they had no more gas and no money. So what did they do? Simply they used the windshield fluid hose to siphon gas from a cop's car (since it was his fault they were in this predicament in the first place) while the car was sitting in front of his house. It took a while, but they got home just fine, and rather enjoyed themselves.

And that is just ONE of the tales of the family. They lived quite adventurously, I do say. THOUGH we did have our own share. On the way home we stopped in Green River and the keys were locked in the car. This was bad, as there is no spare in existence and we were trying to get my aunt to the airport just in time to catch a flight. Yikes.

But luckily there happened to be a teenager working at the Subway who has the black-market knowledge of breaking into unsuspecting (or suspecting) vehicles. We rounded his sandy head up and he assisted us with a small set of tools (including the coat hanger and a screw-driver) and in less than 5 minutes he had the door open and we were on our way. Richard to the rescue!

And how does my brother pay Subway back for hiring such ideal employees? By stealing one of their giant sticky signs and adhering it to my other brother's car during the night. Fun fun.

So I have been constantly eating since I was old enough to put food in my own mouth. And I blame it on womanhood, since it's more general than me.

Anyway.

My roommate is watching the Chop Challenge on the food network. That's crazy cool. Knife-yielding genius. I myself own some sharp Japanese blades. Perhaps I should practice so I too can be the chop champion! I have an onion... and canned green beans. Hmm...

I just grabbed another lemon bar. Good compromise.

Yesterday I wore my London tights (or 'stockings' as someone called them) and it was a great day.

Thoughts (I don't claim them to be good or worth your time)

So summer is officially over and I've now been in school for a week. I am still begrudging many a thing that goes with the school season, but as there seems to be no way around it, I'll just have to deal (or run screaming off into the distance--which I still may do if there happens to be a heavily oiled and well-toned man both shirtless and holding a pina colada in the distant sunset...ah, summer).

But life is getting better and I'm learning (like how to hear literary jargon and nod with a small smile Oh, yes, of course... pedagogical, mmm hmmm... while inside I'm rather confused and somewhat dazed).

So onward ho! Bouquets of sharpened pencils and the smell of scotch tape! Let's own this school thing, shall we?

Kids' Camp

I just finished the first day of my kids' camp and HOLY COW. It was intense. Like a five hour birthday party with two different age groups, the majority of both filled with intense, screaming boys. Party. On.

We played with water balloons and had a relay race where the boys had to carry an overgrown zucchini between their legs. Now THAT was amusing. And we made salt-dough volcanos (which we will later explode, much to the enjoyment of all). Some of the kids got very creative--we're talking trap doors and giant rattlesnakes and sea animals of various sorts.

It's only day one of this exciting adventure and we are all wondering how we will make it through.

So I have a sty on the inside of my lower eyelid. Things are swelling out of proportion and it's starting to creep up into my vision. Ew.

St. George

So my mom was in desperate need of a vacation and we decided St. George would be a good place to go at the end of July, when cooking eggs and bacon on the sidewalk is so passe, and people have moved on to ham and asparagus. We're talking 103 degrees average =fun?

Luckily the condo had air conditioning (which is actually a huge step up from home) and a nearby pool with a handful of beautifully tanned and well-shaped life-guards. =fun (probably more fun if they were past high school and knew about the real world, at least a little). But I won't lie, I was totally looking.

It was a rather fun trip. I learned shuffleboard (I'm quite gifted actually. Why am I so surprised? I mean come on, it's me. Don't I just ooze Shuffleboard Queen?). I told Greek myths to the boys (Jackson was rather upset that I knew so few stories about the "Water Guy" aka Poseidon).

We did a death hike in the middle of the day on Wednesday. It was so hot the five of us went through five quarts in like an hour and fifteen minutes. DOOOD. We later hiked Angels' Landing at night (as in walked home in the dark with a wind-up flash light=fun and a little scary). I absolutely SHREDDED my pants slipping of the road while taking a picture. Minor scrapes on the body but the shorts are completely done for. I had to finish the hike holding my pants together so anyone behind us wouldn't get sight of my voluptuously white arse. Yes we can all laugh, ha ha ha.

The boys finally caught their much desired lizard. Hours of chasing the poor animals around hot rocks and sand only to end up in a poky bush. But they were at last successful. They caught one tiny one, but almost caught five, so... they were happy.

Now we just have to get back to the real world... =not fun.

Girls' Night

I have some awesome friends. Like could hold up the world while singing the National Anthem and make you feel like a million bucks kind of awesome. And last night we all got to hang out and it was a BLAST.

It began with a bridal shower. Gifts and food have always been good starters for adventures. Just as a warning, this doesn't end in chocolate smeared on faces, or ripped feather pillows. It was much more natural and classy. (Ok, ok, the chocolate would be natural but we had just stuffed our faces at a shower so didn't feel the need for excess sugar and syrup). Instead, it was diet cokes and North and South, which, to me, is *perfection*.

Oh, by the way, I totally made a double-layered cheesecake for the shower. It was my first cheesecake ever and I ROCKED IT. Everyone loved it (so what if I was threatening them with a serrated knife covered in goo?). But yeah. AWESOME. I even made a legit Devil's Food Cake from scratch for the in between layers. I should be a chef or something. One that threatens people to like my food. (You can do it, Bruce!)

But anyway. Fabulous friends make life so much easier. We went over my life last night, and now I know where I'm headed, and feel so much better about it all. I'm glad we discussed it. Plus they are just inspiring people. Like what they've been through and how they've come out on top. It's worth some serious chicken soup (the good kind, not the kind some granny covered in cheese cuz she thought it sounded cute). Anyhoo. They make me marvel, and I'm so happy that my life is filled with such people.

And HEY! I made a cheesecake!

*ps, to those who may be involved, this is not meant to make you feel awkward, uncomfortable, or any other disagreeable feelings. Don't feel the need to reciprocate or anything. I just love you.

Bear Lake Weekend

My family typically goes to Bear Lake for the 4th of July. Typically, as well, the boys check out Lake Bloomington, which is a small lake surrounded by coldness. Look hither:

Notice those little dots on the snow? That would be the male members of my family plus a knee board which they used to sled down into the water.

Like this!

Does it not look ridiculously fun?

Exactly.

That's why I didn't go for it. I let stupidity reign only so much.

Here is one brother attempting to warm up afterwards.

And here is my dad suffering from a similar brain freeze. We're sitting in the sun judging the rope swingers. Obviously I was not that impressed. Most the attempters were show-offs with no talent (which is a little contrary to the point of a show-off, don't you think? It's like fat people in small swimsuits. If you don't have it, don't flaunt it.)

Also at Lake Bloomington we saw a small dog that was 1/2 golden retriever and 1/2 wiener dog. Now isn't that a question to the universe? Who in the world allowed that? And how in the world did it happen?

The result was actually quite fun, despite any misgivings you may have; the golden retriever personality in a much more containable size.

Summer Jobs

I've decided to reenter the world via employment. Supposedly, money is a good thing, and while I am dubious in some respect, I do agree when it comes to such things as gas and food. And movies. And books. It is remarkable how much money I spend on entertainment. Do you know how many books I came back from Europe with? Well I'm not telling. It's embarrassing.

You should be proud though. I've updated my resume and applied for THREE jobs. Just this morning. One already bit (speed speaks volumes of desperation). I'm hoping for the others though. Catering mashed peas to drooling old people is only so ideal. Everyone keeps telling me internships are great for career purposes, but I don't exactly qualify for many, and others are on either coast, so.... mashed peas anyone?

We'll see, we'll see. I'll keep you updated, surely.

A Short Update

Sorry for those waiting (or not) for some more Europe update. Short story: Stupid internet. I have a video, but apparently no one gets to see it.

But Saint Petersburg is crazy! I went to the Russian Ballet (Swan Lake--oooh, so cultured), and a dead baby museum (gross--and so Russian). There was a city-wide party for graduated high school seniors, which I'm pretty sure is never a good idea. The city felt so different from everywhere else I'd been, so it was a really neat experience. Nik says I didn't even get the whole experience since I only saw a little blood and no needles, or passed out drunk/drugged people. But I got a taste.

Then I came home after a very long and arduous journey and my best friend got married! It was a gorgeous wedding, and just lovely.

Uh, more later? If i feel inclined and if anyone cares?

Welcome to St. Petersburg!

Nik and I finally arrived in Russia, after being delayed for a night in Latvia (what? Who goes there?) When we landed and started to make our way to the hotel I got very anxious. Everything when I first landed felt so foreign. The language, the alphabet, the customs. I mean, I've been a few places now, but here I felt so much more distanced between them and me.

We took a bus to the metro (buses are interesting, let's just say that for now) and once we figured out the metro I felt a little calmer. For me the metro in a new place is always the scariest aspect. The signs and directions are all different, people are going fast, and there's no official people around to help if needs be. But I conquered the metro, and feel better about life.

Here is the lovely view from our hotel room. The room is small and the bathroom smaller. It is easily possible for a person to wash their hands while using the toilet while also washing their feet in the shower. Space efficiency is key.

The first day we went to Peterhof, which is a very large palace with some very impressive fountains (as you now see). Look at this picture and notice the size of the actual people (they're small, but keep looking). Like I said, impressive fountainage.

St. Petersburg is cool, from what I've seen so far. It is very different, therefore very exhilarating and frightening at one and the same time. I rather cling to Nik. I have no idea what anyone is saying and can't even begin to attempt to communicate. I do know some of the alphabet, but that's only useful if I have 10 minutes and 1 word, and happen to know the translation.

Bugger, there's a HUGE party going on outside and I want to go, but Nik's not back yet, and I'll admit, mobs of russian people rather scare me on my lonesome.

More Italy

Voila, Italy. The gem of the Renaissance. I must be brief just cuz, ya know, I'm in Italy. That doesn't afford much time.

Here is a lovely overview of Rome. Who knew? The city can be very wind-y and at times dirty, or distincly submerged in the smell of urine. But this is beautiful! Nik and I have pretty much spent the last two days walking, non stop, up hill, stairs, or running. It is very hot, and pretty sure I'm constantly covered in a layer of dripping sweat. No worries. That just means I fit right in.

How is this for an Italian? He was our tour guide for the Colosseum, and that's right. His name was Paolo.

See?!! This is the kind of interiors all of Rome works with. You see something less than this and you just shrug like it's a sweater 2 years out of fashion.

This Piazza of statues just shows how frequent great art is in this country. Every corner you turn and every building you see is something huge, important, and artistically significant. We stood on one corner and every direction you turned there was something amazing. It's like sensory overload all the time. It doesn't help that our hotel is on the corner of a very busy street, so we never get any rest for our senses. I feel a little strung out. But it's ok. I will press on.

And how's this for fun?! I just loved it, and thought you should too. More later. Maybe.

Nik Arrives!

Nik finally came, arriving Tuesday after a much troubled flight. I was so terribly excited as it has been quite a while since I've seen any family. I showed him some bits of London, we saw some great plays. It was wonderful.

Then we went off to Paris. Instead of showing you all of Paris I will just show you a new acquisition to my list.

Voila, Le Sacre Coeur.

It was massive and beautiful. The tile work inside is highly impressive. It covers such large area of the wall and ceiling. Quite stunning.

We stayed in this area that could not seem to decide which culture to emphasize. When we first arrived the streets were thronged with Middle Eastern people, so crowded and busy. Later that night all these tourist shops suddenly popped up, and no one appeared to be a native. Then the next morning there were streets and streets selling fabric of all kinds, lain out on the sidewalk. The place kept changing on us, but it was only a collection of maybe 4 streets.

Nik and I took a sleeper train to Italy from Paris. Here was my Paris souvenir: wonderfully cute, small, and delicious. Happy? Yes.

The train was an interesting experience. We were bunked with this small, odd Frenchman with a large suitcase and cello that he could not figure out where to put. Nik says the Frenchman got up multiple times during the night to check his stuff and peep outside the cabin window.

In the morning our French friend was the first to hop down and open the door. Only the lock mechanism came out in his hand and he could not fix it. Yes, we were locked in this very cramped, uncomfortable cabin with uncomfortable, foreign, and small people. It was awkward and strange and never-ending. I feel I should also mention the bathroom facilities this train offered were so small that, according to mon frere you'd have to open the door and step out into the hallway to wipe yourself. Also there was a sign above the sink that said 'do not drink the water'. Sketchy? Yes. It didn't help that our Italian cabin manager insisted we lock our door and 'sleep wit da moneys'.

Nik took a hand at the attempt of freeing us after a while. Quite naturally he almost took the door off its hinges, except it didn't have any hinges. But this showed us exactly where the door was stuck (it wasn't the lock). We finally pulled in, all 4 of us close cabin buddies still stuck. Help came in the form of 5 Italian men, 1 mallet, 1 crowbar, and 1 audience member. After much rushed and angered Italian to each other and words of calming to us, some hammering, to the door, and some crowbar to the track the door was off, we all were freed. But missed our connecting train.

Not to worry. We made it to Florence. Eventually.

Florence!

Here is the gorgeous, unbelievable, amazing Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore.

Or simply the Duomo.

Here is Nik climbing the dome (can you see the curve?). Those were some steep steps. Almost put the Notre Dame to shame.

Almost.

Look at its beautiful painted ceiling! It really was breathtaking.

Ok, so that, quickly, our days in Paris and first day in Florence. Certainly a lot more happened, but I'm pretty sure I have never been so caked with sweat in my life. Or my feet so dirty. Shower is much much needed. We love Europeans only so much. I'll copy their art, but never the smell.

Old Men and their JAZZIES

And you remember the original?

Every time. Such happiness.

Stratford-Upon-Avon

This week our entire program went to Stratford-Upon-Avon to see the birthplace of that one famous guy, who may be the cause of this whole program and my being in London, that Shakespeare dude.

We went to see every farm, garden, house, and piece of land connected to him and his life (or his daughters, or his mother's). It was intense and exhaustive, but I made it through the Shakespeare mania.

This house is pretty much the format of every thing we went to see. A large, beautiful garden, and an old school thatched-roof house with some old furniture and fake bread inside.

But before we went there we stopped my Coventry Cathedral, which has been a religious site since the 1100's. It has been 3 different cathedrals, and was bombed in WWII and they kept the outside standing, and simply built a new one on the inside of the shell.

There was a lot of modern art inside, and I really loved their stained glass window.

Next we went to Kenilworth Castle. It was the home of some famous guy in Queen Elizabeth's court, the one she actually liked and wanted to marry, but luckily didn't.

This was my favorite part.

I turned a corner, and who should be there but Robin Hood? Vastly appropriate.

Here is the inside. Pretty cool huh?

The British really like their gardens, and even offer books about it in the Kenilworth museum.

Then we made our way to Ann Hathaway's home. We saw the chair she and Shakespeare might have sat in. It's all very exciting.

Here is a man with an interesting shirt. I suppose his wife was glad enough to have him along so she'd take him in what ever form he came in. Look. She's so excited ("Oh look! Plants Shakespeare might have had, enjoyed, or even seen! Let's take a picture.") He's not much of a gardener, ("Yup. That one's purple.")

So Robin Hood & Gang donated this bench. They must like Shakespeare.

The Old English people were rather lax when it came to building homes. Nothing was straight, even, or even similar. Beams were whatever length suited the day, every floor slanted sharply (missing pocket change? Look to the southern wall), doors could be specific to the one person who made them. No hallways (room --> room --> room) to which our guide said, "You saw something *shrug* you saw something. But the curtains were for a bit of privacy. You'd still hear it though." (us: MAKE HIM STOP! MAKE HIM STOP!).

This is the Holy Trinity Church where Shakespeare is buried. Pretty.

The last day we went to Blenheim Palace, which was a much more appropriate version of Versailles, except for this odd creature:

We are all curious as to why anyone would choose a harpy statue. "Oh please. Apollo? Again?! I'd prefer something much more original. And creepy. Yes a harpy will do quite nicely."

A lake in their garden. On our way here we found a tree someone had given to the Duke in honor of something significant. We thought it rather amusing. "Oh yes, thank you. I do love a good tree, and my yard is somewhat sparse. This will do just wonderfully."

The last bit of our trip was spent in Oxford. We went to the Natural History Museum (those are the most entertaining).

Behold giant spider crab that I attempted to pet. He was not kind.

I like mimicking animals' faces, ok? Don't judge me and my three chins. And don't stare, either.

Oh, this is a kind of stork. I call him Darrel.

This is a bad picture of some shrunken heads. I would have gotten a better one, but it was 4:28 and the guard was yelling, "The museum is now closed!" also meant as, "get the hell out of this building so I can go home." But apparently the shrinking of enemy heads was in practice up until 1960. At least that's what our picture of the caption says.