The British Language

Here are some fun British phrases I hope you'll enjoy:

Lollipop man: The crossing guard in front of schools.

Jam tomorrow: a common expression meaning that if you do something today you'll be rewarded tomorrow.

nouse: common sense; intelligence

scupper: to defeat (originally it was used in the Hornblower sense, as in to sink an enemy ship)

chuffed: delighted, pleased ("chuffed to bits")

Sod off!: Go away!

moose: unpleasant, boring; ugly person

Old Men and their JAZZIES

And you remember the original?

Every time. Such happiness.

Tower of London

Tower of London, Baby! That's right. It's exciting (in that awkward need-to-pee kind of way that my face seems to be expressing. Also, the good food I eat non stop would explain the chubby expressing the need-to-pee).

The ravens were HUGE. This picture does not do them justice at all, but they were frighteningly large. It doesn't help there's a sign near by saying that they bite.

Me and a ready-made friend I found. He was nice, but rather bland.

This was King Henry VIII. Do you spot something awkward? Yeah... Well, he was Henry VIII.

The biggest and the littlest suits of armor they have. The big one was for a man who was 6'8".

In many of the buildings there are wall carvings from the prisoners kept there. Crazy! Some of them had quite some time.

Some people who were in there on account of witchcraft would carve these astrological diagrams and such. I don't know about you, but such things I doubt were beneficial in proving their innocence.

Chopping block. For heads.

So many tight spiral stair cases. I thought I was done after Paris, but oh no! It was the only staircase known to man until the 1600's.

Notice the size of my foot and the size of the stair. Either these people were really small or the contractors/commissioners were chincy cheap skates.

This is the coat of arms of my ancestors. That's right. Awesome. Never mind that they were involved in malicious plots to murder the throne's direct heirs. It's awesome.

Pretty guns. Two of them.

And look! This is an experimental gun from like 1450. It didn't really work, but just look at the design.

A very large and long lance.

And all the gruesome gore ends in a pretty and serene chapel. What?

the V & A

I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum today, and since art is pretty, and important to the survival of your soul, (and I'm avoiding homework) I will show you all the amazing things we saw.

This is a brass fruit bowl, shaped like a leaf. Amazing, right?

This is the kind of punch bowl used at parties given by kings or rock stars. But don't be fooled. They still fill it more than half full of ice.

That's right. Gunpowder tea. I was confused and asked Jana. She said it was because "It has a real kick." Pah.

This was the view staring up. A hanging art piece of steam-rolled brass instruments. I liked it.

The gauntlet attacked. Instead of saving me Jana took a picture. Now I type only using my left hand. The right keeps trying to be chivalrous.

A man's jerkin. The old kind, made by hand. Let's get a close up.

That's right folks. And all for a white undershirt.

Here's another close up. And of what?

Oh, this hamburger dress. 6 ft wide, 1 ft deep. Dude.

I took a picture of this statue because she and I share a body shape.

Don't ya think?

Oh, that's me showing off my poorly tied cravat.

This would be a comb carved out of ivory. I feel like it would just have to touch your head and your hair would suddenly wind and fold itself into some intense oriental up-do.

An intricate ladle.

A spoon. A wooden spoon for soup. Look at that thing! It looks like one of those delicate cookies that crumble the moment you touch it.

This is the kind of knife/dagger that Aladdin came from. The sheath and handle were absolutely covered in ornate shiny gemstones. Yes I'm going to kill you, but in style.

This was a pretty piece simply over the information desk. Like a giant lightbulb to all their understanding.

Historic Places

Since it is Sunday I will venture on a matter more spiritual than I am wont. This week I went to Stonehenge, Bath, and Westminster Abbey. And at each place I had a profound and connected experience. I thought I'd share, in case anyone cares (which if not, you can drop off and stop reading--I permit)

To begin, Stonehenge. This place is full of mystery and wonder. People have been coming here for thousands of years, wondering what the hell it's all about (pardon my language--and on a Sunday too!) England has been populated for hundreds of thousands of years, and yet no one seems to have any recollection of a vast group of people moving 18 ft, 45 ton stones hundreds of miles (without the aid of the wheel), and worshipping around them.

But somehow, it was done. And it still stands as a marker of their lives. All of us visitors come prancing around, to gawk and awe, and yet as I came up to these giant stones a kind of reverence comes over and people slowly stopped talking. I just stood. I mean, it is amazing. It is also very possible that the makers' descendants are part of this gawking crowd, and yet we're missing the connecting dots, from Stonehenge to this person right next to me. But the simple fact that this person exists shows that there is connection, even if we can't see it.

And second, the Roman Baths, of Bath.

They've found all sorts of pieces of the Roman ruins, and this piece in particular struck me. It was commissioned by the Roman leaders, but it was the Celtic natives that created it. The Romans, who we assume brought civilization to a majority of the words, relied on a much narrower branch of culture to build up their city. No one is quite sure what this man represents. Some say he's supposed to be a gorgon (which is muddled by the fact that it is a man) and others say he's another kind of god, or king, or who knows what else.

I was simply fascinated that this culture that left little in terms of their history and religion, left their mark by means of the Romans. We don't know what it is or what it means, but it was right in front of me, close enough to touch.

This was another bit made by the Celts. This is their highest ranking deity (from what I gather). It is a group of three goddesses. And it just amazed me because of my belief in a three-person godhead. There is evidence of truth all over, in so many different shapes and sizes, from all different types of people, and yet it is all the same truth. We are all connected in ways that we have yet to fully comprehend.
This is just a pretty shot as we were leaving Bath. Just at the edge of the horizon are some "mountains" (according to our guide) beyond which lies Wales, where the beacons of Stonehenge were quarried. Just think! This is the same land they crossed. This is the same view they saw! We know the land hasn't changed much because the barrows are still there, from the eons before Christ. Though, in actuality, there probably were a great deal more trees.

And last but not least, Westminster Abbey

The abbey was gorgeous. And I was so excited going in because I knew my ancestors have been there, were married there. So it was quite a thrill to be in that space, to be stepping on those stones that have carried so many influential people, including the people who played a significant role in bringing about my existence.

If you're quiet, and you listen, you can real feel the history of the place filling the air around you. People who have changed the world seem to all come together in Westminster Abbey. There they all share a common ground. There's Winston Churchill, Queen Elizabeth, Chaucer, and they all now reside on the same tile, in the same space. It really is quite something.

Well, there you have it. I am sorry if it bored you, or if we failed to share a common thought. It struck me so I thought I'd share on this charming Sunday afternoon.

Museum of Natural History

So my roommate, Jana, and I went to London's Museum of Natural History. It is a rather old museum, being around since the mid 1800's. The building was specially made for it, and it was gorgeous! The mosaics and tile work was amazing. See here:

We learned many interesting things and saw many interesting/bizarre/concerning things as well.

Here is a monkey skeleton swinging around and having a grand old time. Did anyone else think of Pirates of the Caribbean? Cuz I did.

And look! I made a friend. Sort of.

This was a better friend. Meet the really really old giant armadillo. Awesome, right? Just don't make him too happy. His tail could take out a flight of stairs.

I just thought this was funny. Here, we'll put this on display, but just ignore this bit.

Another picture of the building. GORGEOUS. I plan on living there someday, either as an official resident or a piece of the exhibit. They may in fact be the same thing under different titles. The man you see is actually posing for someone else, but I was tired of waiting so he made it into my memories. Congratulations good sir!

More creepy monkeys that resided in every nook and cranny of the place. Did anyone else think of Bartok and the demon/slug things in Anastasia? Cuz I did.

An artist carefully prepared this tree slice. It's a real tree that's been pasted on to the ceiling. In respect for the tree the artist planted 200 of the tree's seeds. Tarzan, anyone?

This is Jana overlooking what appear to be the remains of the museum's first director. This marble box was just sitting in the corner of some small exhibit that had nothing to do with him. It's a little creepy. We aren't actually sure if the box does indeed hold the director's remains, or if it's just a box commemorating him in some suspiciously vague way.

This pic is actually from the museum next door (museum of science). Yes, it is in fact a chandelier made of cheap ball point pens.

We saw a lot of other things as well, like:

• eggs shaped like cork screws (what?)
• really creepy malevolent fish you wouldn't want to meet even in the best of circumstances
• An alligator with a snout as thin as a pencil
• Fish with free-floating jaws (yeah, still confused)
• Giant salamanders, worms, and etc.

And yeah. Just a cool awesome place!

Latest Adventures

OOOooooo K. This is a big post. But It's good, so pay attention.

This is a man we saw by Leicester Square (Where you buy the theatre tickets). I think what he is doing is technically illegal (there's a specifies Speakers' Corner for this business) But he was adamant that we tell the Queen the truth about these secret societies. They're bringing down the world, starting with fashion icons!

Quite a beautiful shot (if I do say so myself) of the fountains at Trafalgar Square.

Yes. I was there. Here's proof.

Attack of the ANIMALS!!!

No matter how stately your stance, a pigeon on the head ruins all.

These painted elephants are all over the place. They were "unveiled" a couple days ago. Different groups and people painted them to raise awareness of the dwindling Asian Elephants.

Me. (and Sara). Kissing a lion. Can we all please note my hair?

Look! It's a little baby one!

(I take this stance every time I pet an elephant.)

And before I leave the animal section I ought to relate the time I wandered around Hyde Park and came across the Round Pond, filled with ducks, pigeons, and swans. A couple different families were rather forcing their kids to enjoy the wildlife. The kids were screaming, surrounded by these feathered animals pecking the ground for bread the kids had dropped in fright.

One dad went to go console his daughter, picked up the bread and tried to hand it to her. He started to feed the birds (tuppence a bag...) turned around and literally came face to face with a swan. I kid you not, the thing was HUGE. The swan was up to the man's shoulder without even extending itself and it just stared at the man, like, You gonna give me that bread or what?

The man picked up his daughter, skittered off, leaving the bread behind.

Yeah Harry Potter!!!

(my eyes are closed because I was magnifying my wizarding powers. Alas I did not make it to Hogwarts. I will simply have to try yet again.)

Regent's Park

So beautiful! They have parks like this everywhere. And everyone uses them. Everyone. It's wonderful and amazing.

Today I went searching for this cemetery called Bunhill Fields where Daniel Defoe and William Blake are buried. It was soooooo enchanting! And beautiful. And wonderfully aged.

And the bonus?

This old man was taking a nap in the middle of the through street. A nap. In the pathway. In his jazzy. This is why we love London. Or old people. Whichever.

But even without the jazzy napper, this place is wonderful.

I saw a worker crawl under the fence (you couldn't actually walk between the headstones--which makes sense, they're old and wearing away quickly). He was rather limber for an elder man. But I think he just checks the quality of the stone but doesn't necessarily keep them tidy. I mean, look at the plant growth on the tombs.

Last but not least here is a picture of my roommate eating something.

It was a giant something from some questionable restaurant sold to us by a girl who doesn't speak English. I'm not sure what ethnicity it was supposed to be, as I got an "English Breakfast" while Janna got this ginormous sandwich thingamabob--the spinach kind, not the meat.

It was rather amusing because I was under the impression that I was getting a sandwich, but instead was served eggs, ham, bacon, baked beans, toast, sausage, cooked tomatoes, peppers, and mushrooms (breakfast what?). Janna thought she was getting a pastry sort of something, and here ya go. All was forgiven, however, because we were hungry.