Friday, July 31, 2009

Lake Powell

I am reawakening this dormant blog with news from Lake Powell. Pictures will follow when I contrive to steal them from my brother's computer. Quick numbers: 1 houseboat, 4 jet skis, 40 people (including 97 year-old grandma and one Jedi), lots of food.  

Lake Powell has been known as great adoration and vexation to my family. We have been going there with all the extendeds since I was little and have had many adventures. This particular year we acquired 1 totaled boat and 1 damaged jet ski (who's repair cost was over $800), But this was hardly surprising, considering our past experiences. 

The disastrous trip of '06 had actually 2 totaled ski boats, a missing house boat, 1 ruined rental boat, a jack-knifed trailer, two fragile females--one 1 month old, the other 94, and 1 double-layered raspberry chocolate cake afloat in the melted ice water of a stranded cooler. SO 1 boat and 1 jet ski was hardly a thing to consider. 

The first day of this year's Lake Powell trip my aunt accidentally replaced her eye drops with hydrogen peroxide. She did not go blind, but sported a pair of nicely swollen and dripping eye-lids for the rest of the trip. On the way down one of the trip's toddlers slammed his foot in the car door so had to go around the whole time hobbling on a bandaged leg. 

Day two one of the jet skis swallowed a rope. All the men in our tribe lifted it up out of the water and dissected it on the beach and removed the offensive strand of nylon. They then put it back together and replaced it on the water. Also, in the evening, one of my cousins did his traditional glow stick dance. This sounds kind of weird/awkward but he tied 2 glow sticks on the ends of strings and spun them around, kind of like fire torches. Turn out the fire and turn on the techno and it's actually quite cool. Afterwards he handed out glow sticks to the little kids. 
Naturally this creates a problem: badly tied knots with plastic tubes on the end swung around at the greatest possible speed with a whole crowd of people standing around to watch. Luckily no one got pelted with a flying glow stick, but one kid (my brother, actually) started swinging it out of control and the string + glow stick swung down between his legs. He collapsed instantly into the fetal position on the sand, moaning and groaning like a truly injured man. He was a little more cautious in his next approach to the glow sticks. 

Day 3: This day one of the jet skis actually swallowed a stick. The whole dissection process happened again, with equal success. One cousin speared a fish. That was exciting. Everyone was so surprised that it actually worked that no one knew what to do about it. The fish ended up dying, I'm sure, due to a large gaping hole in its body. It took a while to get the spear out, first of all because no one wanted to touch it, and second because the fish kept moving. 

Day 4: I enjoyed watching young children biff on their face while trying to learn the wakeboard. Put those kids in life jackets and they are haaaardy. Our Jedi told some stories around the camp fire. One of them was about a Chinese boy trying to get to some holy mountain. On the way he met a whole bunch of obstacles, one of which was a leopard. The whole time my mom thought he had been saying leaper. She was just astonished that the kid would through a rock straight into the face of a diseased man, and even more astonished when no one else seemed perturbed. She didn't get it 'til the next day.

Day 5: This day we cleaned up and went home. Naturally it took 3x longer than we had expected. Finally crammed into our car we got a call from an aunt whose car had broken down due to some busted water pipes. We crammed their luggage and people into the remaining cars and left the lemon with a cousin to wait for the new part to come in. On the way home our car overheated once and we got lost 2 or 3 times. But we returned, safe though a little harried. 

It's a long story, but I found it amusing. 

Monday, July 13, 2009

Today Nik came upstairs looking sticky with smugness. "Beat him." He said. He had been playing Jackson at pool. Mind you, Jackson is six. Nik is 25. Jackson followed up the stairs, upset and exasperated. "I can't believe Nik beat me!"

Also today, Mom asked Ben to help her carry something out of the garage. "But it'll be all muddy!" Ben cried. "And I'm wearing my nice white shirt!" World, please note; wife-beaters are not "nice white shirts" and anyone who thinks otherwise is white trash. No exceptions.

Sleep Walker

The other night my brother was doing his habitual sleep-walking routine, only this time he woke up flat faced on the floor with a black eye and a nearly broken nose. No one is quite sure what happened, but my mom heard him moving furniture of some sort or other. 

This brother is fun to have around, and most of it has to do with these sleep-walking stories. Once we camped down in Hava Supai, and he woke up in the middle of the night. It was pitch black and he had no idea where he was. I woke up too, and thinking the noise was a squirrel or unsavory rodent, I turned on my flashlight. Because of this, Nik did not fall into the river or wander into a neighbor's tent. 

On another trip Nik woke up with his arms outstretched and hands open. On the floor was a broken lamp. We had to pay for the lamp as we didn't know Spanish for "Sleep-walking" 

That same trip he frightened some poor man almost to death. We were staying in a hostel and Nik slept on the bottom bunk, and some unlucky stranger slept on the top. In the middle of the night Nik, in all his football-bulking height, starting screaming at the man telling him to STOP IT. The man kept shouting "What?!!! WHAT?!!!" Nik woke up as he left the room and, semi-confused, went back to bed. The man's bunk was completely cleared by the time Nik woke up. 

These are just a few delights. If I were to add the rest of the family, this would be a very long entry. I myself do not roam the halls while dreaming, but nearly all my siblings, aunts, uncles, and mother do. Perhaps some other post....

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Aunt in the Bed

The other day I came home very very late from a friend's house. We were finishing the second season of Lost, so naturally we didn't finish til 2:30 in the morning. I came home and walked through the dark house down to my basement bedroom, which is in the very corner of the house, and very much out of the way. I turned on the light and saw a body in the bed. 

I froze and for the splitty-est of seconds I thought it was myself and I was having some very trippy deja-vu experience where I was actually living in the deja-vu part. But then the body moved and sat up. 

It was my aunt, all the way from Connecticut! I totally forgot she was coming into town, and had no idea she'd be using my bed. but there she was, 2:30 in the morning asleep with my stuffed-animal Stitch next to her head. I gave my hasty apologies and turned off the light and shut the door. But the house was still all dark. Now what? I thought. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

NEW POST COMING SOON
to a blog near you!
aka I'll write something great for you in a bit.