Note to the world: 

Ties bearing the ensemble of wild animals with over-ferned jungle backdrops are no longer in style. Neither are ones with lilies and frogs, or lawnmowers, or messily painted geometric shapes in odd colors. These, in fact, were never in style. They were originally intended as white-elephant gifts that have now been monstrously misused. If you went on a tie-shopping spree during some nanosecond trend of the mid-90's it is now time to repurchase for the sake of your dignity. 

Professor Kearl, I mean this with the utmost respect. 

**I would also like to point out that on my tie sample there are elephants (natives of Africa and India), pandas (from China, though the baby is from the zoo, since the wild is to wild for pandas to procreate), tigers (also China), Rhinos (friends of the elephants), some relative of the antelope, and an odd mix between a hyena, cat, and hedgehog. All I can say is that this must be some amazing forest to bring all of these animals together in such vibrant harmony.**

Me the Idiot

Sometimes I accidentally behave like an idiot. Most of the time I try to hide the idiotic incident as soon as possible and throw a good sized rug over it, but this one I think I must share because it made me laugh.

So it all started when I thought a salad sounded nice for lunch. I washed the lettuce and got out some homemade dressing. But the dressing had congealed somewhat because our fridge is a little too chilly. I would have put it in the microwave but our microwaves is no longer emitting micro waves, just light. So instead, I put it on the stove. Yes, I put it on the stove, while it was still in its jar. I just wanted a quick warm up. But then there was this loud crack and congealed pear dressing began to flow out all over the burner, causing a great deal of smoke and funny smells.

Here is the cracked jar and what remains of the once-delicious now sauteed pear dressing.

Here is what grilled dressing looks like, my friends. That's right. What you are seeing is crunchy salad dressing. Mmmm...

Daffodils

Hey look at that! Yesterday I said daffodils were my favorite of flowers and my roommate unknowingly put some on the table (yes they are fake, what kind of budget do you think we have?)

Though it would have been undoubtably better if they had actually been purchased for me and by a man, I still love the fact that they appeared.

My Walk to the Grocery Store

Welcome to my walk to the grocery store! Here is my path and a little snippet of the absolutely gorgeous mountains (even though we are upset about the snow). 

I think daffodils are my favorite flower. I love the part where WIlly Wonka drinks out of one like a tea cup, then eats it when he's finished. Somehow, daffodils have so much personality, like in Alice in Wonderland, how they talk to her, or in Hook when they smell the paint on Peter. I just feel that at any moment they're going to turn their heads and say something gossipy. (Oh, look ladies, we've got another one. How many more of those terrible jackets are we going to have to see before they go out of style? If anybody asked me, I'd say they would be better off wearing a bustle. At least that would have flattered somewhat.)

Um...yes please? 

On the right is someone who suffers from cheap and outdated lawn decor. 

Below is some kind of cheap private school (joking...sorta)

There was an accident on the street. It actually looks worse than it was. A bumper was taken off, but the City felt the need to send 2 fire trucks, and ambulance, and 4 police cars. Apparently bumpers are a far more serious business than I thought. 

This little blob looked ridiculous blowing in the wind. There was actually a bike underneath it, i think.

This lady's house had 3 wind chimes, a candle-lit path, excessive botany, framed artwork, and a couple gazebos. 

These bananas have chicken pox!!! Look at that! Diseased! Green chicken pox!! 

(I confess, I still bought some. Not these ones>> but some others that didn't appear to be contaminated, though now that I think about it, Chicken Pox is a virus...spreadable...this may have been a bad idea...) 

Festival of Colors

Is it not magical?

Festival of Colors

Festival of Colors is this weekend at the Krishna Temple. I'm excited! 

This is a collage I made and when I read this T.S. Eliot poem I was reminded of it.

...

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse

...

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short, I was afraid.

I hope so much to not be like J. Alfred Prufrock. I want to see all the opportunities life offers and snatch at them with all the courage I possess.

I should mind my manners

Today I was walking home and I noticed myself watching this girl and thinking, woah, she looks like a monkey. Then my kinder side said, Oh stop it! How can you be so rude? But then the original side replied, It may be unkind, but it is a fact, kind of like how that guy looks like a chipmunk. 

And I wonder why I don't get dates.  

The Waddle and RLRP

Some men have unfortunate walks. Have you noticed this? It's a strange phenomenon once you start watching. The walk I'm concerned about today is the one where men don't walk in a straight forward fashion. They move forward with their hips first, resulting in a kind of waddle. I think it's gone unnoticed for so long because men typically don't have much hippage. I say typically because I have found the one unfortunate soul who has proved that theory wrong and brought into blinding luminescence this waddling phenomenon. Where does it come from, you may ask. I believe it's a leftover from the days of Ridiculously Low-Riding Pants (note: some still suffer from the assumption that RLRP is still the vogue. If you happen to see such an individual please shoot, or give them a belt). But in this bygone era men had to waddle in order to keep their pants above knee level. It seems that some men were more effected than others and though they have graciously hidden their boxers, they have some how kept the walk. 

If you are curious, the waddle is best seen while its owner is running. 

Restroom Encrouchment

So i went to the bathroom today (i do on occasion) and in this bathroom i was shocked to find Now i have been, up to this point, silent on the growing removal of our restroom rights, but this is too much. First it was the water, then the soap, then the flushing toilet, then the paper towel dispensers, and now THIS. Going to the bathroom is a private activity and i prefer not to be told how much water, soap, and cheap paper i get. I believe i am old enough to know how much i need. it is bad enough when some motion-sensor decides i'm finished using the toilet, but now i can't even pick the amount of toilet paper i use!! This is ridiculous. These automatons are taking over the world, one toilet at a time and it won't be long before some poor human is standing in line for some soup unable to move because the little dictating robot hasn't told him how much soup he wants. when his coworkers try to help the entire office will fall apart because collectively they will be unable to find out how much soup John wants. believe you me, this bathroom automation will one day lead to global starvation. 

What the---

I discovered this fruit lying on my counter at my house and instantly thought "What the hell kind of pear is that?!" It looks ugly and nasty and I secretly called it the Butt Fruit. When my mom came in she revealed that was actually a peculiar kind of squash that the Louisianians call "Merleton" and the rest of the world calls "Choyote" How odd. I don't think I could ever eat something that looked like a gnarly witch's face or the bad side of an old man. Le fruit de butt a la mode.

garden work

today my mom wanted me to do some yard work. Naturally I did not want to participate so she had to coax me outside with a trail of mini cadbury eggs. It worked. 

Henry Poole Is Here

I have watched this 2 1/2 times this week. I love it, and i think this may be my favorite shot. Mark Pellington is a genius.

A Little Introduction

"Salutations" is what Charlotte the spider always said. As a child I thought she was speaking another spider-language because I had no idea what that meant. But since then I've learned English, so salutations! 

This is a semi-decent picture of myself. I can never really take one that I like, but my face isn't bulbous or distorted in this one, so it'll have to do for now.