Vienna and Munich with Dad and Kristen!

My Dad and Kristen did a bike tour from Prague to Vienna and we decided to meet up when they were done being amazing.

Getting to Vienna was a pain. I had to leave at 6:00am and I nearly missed my train. Something about waking up at 5:30am made me rather slow in the getting-ready process. By the time my brain arrived on set I was running late. So I had to run to catch up, quite literally, with my suitcase in hand, running passed all the street cleaners and late-night-revelers who were returning home. 

I made it on the train, but lost my neck pillow along the way. Ah, my lovely neck pillow with only 1 use under its belt, forever gone away down some dirty French street. Au revoir, ma cherie. 

 Upside of all the dilemma was a Justin Bieber look-alike (and I mean exactly alike) was on the plane and he kept switching his hat every 15 minutes. It was good in-flight entertainment. I think he was new to planes because his dad dropped him off and he kept looking out the airplane window, which was difficult for him, because of his hat. He wouldn't take it off though, just kept readjusting it, and trying another one out. Pretty sure the people behind me disapproved of my stalker methods.

 At my layover in Brussels (which makes SO much sense when you're going from Marseille to Vienna *heavy on the sarcasm*) there were these bikes you could use to charge your electronics. Here's what they looked like, and the ring of lights telling you how much power you were producing. I could produce a TON, but not while taking a picture and holding in my converter at the same. I sat next to some Spaniard who was yapping away in incomprehensible Spanish while peddling his heart out, all in his nice suit.

Kristin got us the hook-ups for the hotel. My first time receiving five-star They gave me cake, cookies, candy, fruit, and fresh flowers. It was quite shnazzy. Almost too shnazzy. There were all sorts of extra towels and cloths that I didn't know how to use. Which one for my face? The smaller one, because my face is smaller than the rest of me? Which one for my hands? The  monogrammed one? Because my hands are important?

They were so prompt on their service that the cleaning lady nearly walked in on me naked, about to take a bath. She rang the doorbell (because my room had a doorbell, since only commoners have rooms without them) and called out. I tried to shout back, but the door was too thick and she couldn't hear me. I grabbed the nearest towel and rushed out into the hall. The towel happened to be a wash cloth (which I decided it was, after much reflection) and it was the smallest sort. Therefore it covered none of my necessities completely. Lucky for me I had spotted the robes in the closet beside the door. I just managed to wrap it around myself as the door opened. She was horrified. I was never so happy to have a robe on in my life. The rest of my bath passed in peace.

 Vienna is extremely beautiful and clean. It was heaven to be away from the poop-laden streets. The architecture too was unique, with both the medieval and the modern. Lots of fun to see.

It's also a city of music. Tons and tons of music. Every night there were multiple concerts. We went to 2, one at the Musikverein and another someplace else. The musicians dressed in period clothing, and they played so well. It was an absolute delight. One flutist played a solo that was so amazing that I went out the next day and bout the music. He was hilarious, just so fancy and proper, like he knew what a treat it was for us to hear him play. The Viennese do music well.

 In the main church, which is named after some important Saint, I'm sure. Quite ornate stone work here, and I especially liked their facial expressions. I try to be serious and contemplative when in a cathedral, but mostly I create dialogue for all the statues, and I find it all highly amusing. I won't tell you my dialogue for these guys because I want you to be serious and contemplative. It is a cathedral, after all.

 More cool statue/monument stuff. There was usually a fat homeless guy at the bottom of this playing his guitar and singing quite loudly with a terrible voice. Seriously so loud, and full of nonsense. Also interesting was that in all of Vienna the statues and artworks like this were covered in tightly meshed chicken wire, to keep the pigeons from roosting on them. I thought it quite smart.

 We went to go see the Spanish Horse-Riding school strut their stuff, and this is my wonderful father trying on their hats. The riders keep the same uniform that they had back in the day. I forgot that I am highly allergic to horses, so while we were waiting for the show to start I started my heavy sniffing, continuous sneezing routine. Dad got out his clorox wipes and wiped down my seat, his seat, Kristen's seat, the window behind me, and all other surfaces I might possibly touch. I've had some pretty bad experiences with horse dander (the full trauma of which I cannot relate, because it includes too much sniffing and sneezing and congestion). Dad instructed me, and I quickly agreed, that I'd have to go Muslim for the duration of the show. I wrapped my scarf around my nose and mouth and took it off only to sneeze. It was rather effective and I was able to see the whole show, but I was incredibly glad to get out and blow my nose. The horses looked very nice, and if I knew anything about horses and training them, I'm sure I would be very impressed. I mean, I was impressed, but in a vague, generally pleased kind of way.

This is me sneaking a photo in front of a couple tiny (tiny!) Asians. Just look at them! They're so tiny! I hope they don't mind I took advantage of their stature and their proximity to me.

 Dad and I in our twinner pants. Later we pulled out our matching jackets. One of us has great style and the other one is copying it, but I can't tell which is which. I have great style, but then, so does he.

 This museum had it going on. Cool stuff, yo. It is quite something when the building looks as magnificent as the works of art it holds. It's like beauty squared. Exponential art. Sometimes it feels about ready to implode with the amount of creativity it holds.

 Inlaid table, ingredients: wood, lapis lazuli, amazingness. It was made to write master-pieces and opiuses and sign peace documents between countries. Nothing else would be sufficient for its beauty.

 The outside of the next-door museum. So freakin' ornate and cultured it's almost hard to look at. Especially because we were in a neighborhood of buildings like this. Everywhere you turned it was so intense. Beauty overload. It was the royalty neighborhood. The kids moved out and built a castle next door.

Doing some shopping. Here's a designer ski-suit and itty-bitty boots for itty-bitty skies. I'm pretty sure that outfit could make you a brilliant skier, even if you don't know what a ski looks like.

 Don't forget the traditional clothing, for the entire family! These were everywhere, especially in Munich. It was the season.

 A jewler. The store was closed but we spied on her through the window and saw her making some stuff. Here she's got her blow torch, melding something, like a bracelet, a necklace, or one ring to rule them all.

 Worn down door. I've begun collecting pictures of doors.

 Some modern piece of art in the Jewish neighborhood, commemorating the dead Jews of WWII. It's supposed to be a library and all bookish stuff, because they dig that stuff.

Dad and Kristen eating schnitzel at Fuglmueller's, because it's awesome. Good schnitzel. I can spell that so I'm just going to keep saying it. Schnitzel. Schnitzel. Kristen and Dad are matching too. The home -made grape juice was amazing. Schnitzel.

Lot's of cool, antique jewelry in Austria. (*note to future husband, wherever you are). Some window display of thousands of dollars worth of bling. Lots of stuff from the 20's. Coral, garnets. A treasure trove that I was able to look at.

 Poseidon statue with the Creature of the Black Lagoon making a guest appearance on the right. He's harder to see from this angle, but he's there.

 Me, mocking the Austrian kings and their class 3 malocclusion (AKA a napoleonic-ego sized underbite). And please, let's give his wig a round of applause. A lot of horses (or humans) went bald for that.

 At night, because it's cool. 

 For their turn down service the hotel tucked my bunny in and gave him a pillow-mint.

 My dad hung his jacket on the back of a chair, while we were at a Mozart concert. Apparently the d-bag behind us stuck his gum on the chair only moments before and my dad didn't see, so when he tried to remove his jacket later that night, this is what happened. Hanging on by a piece of gum.

 Leeches at the local pharmacy. I don't know what health situation would call for leeches but apparently it happens frequently enough in Vienna that they stock up.

And onto Munich! We knew right away we were headed in the right direction because a guy in our train car was already wearing his lederhosen in preperation. 

 Oktoberfest! Lots of haunted rides at the festival. This one has an Amazonian woman beating a dragon into submission (subtext? I think not!). Kristen gave us a play-by-play for all the big rides, on their strengths and weaknesses, their price, and etc.

 Because I'm not too old for this humor (Fahrt zur holle!).

 A lot of gents didn't want to wear the full wool stockings with their lederhosen, so instead they opted for these little calf-warmers of sorts. They looked rather odd, I have to admit, especially when they got really thin. They were almost like a stripe of wool used simply to emphasize the grandness of their calves.

 Beer hall, not for the timid. One of several, full to the brim with large flagons of beer, drunk people, and others on their way. Dirndl dresses (aka booby dresses) and lederhosen galore, worn mostly by the tourists.

 Me dressing up, by request of Kristen and Dad. They say I have a good figure and should show it off. So I did (heck yes!). Then when guys started eying me Dad realized that he may have been too forward in his thinking. He watched the eyers aggressively then put his arm around me and pulled me close. When the eying continued he had me walk on the other side of him. I didn't notice any of this. My head was full of "Munich!" and "Oktoberfest!" and "Food!" and "Candy!". Kristen saw it all and chuckled.

 Art of Munich. Pretty fun stuff.

If I had a billiard room, this is what I'd hand on the wall. 

This might have been my favorite piece. 

 Me taking an artsy photo while in the art museum. 

 School of medicine. Taken by request of Dad.

 Cool museum, complete with garden and cafe.

 Meat window, one of many.

 Gugenheim clock tower, being awesome, no matter how I spell it (on the left).The clock chimes and the figurines move, just like a giant cuckoo clock. Over 40 bells, playing a tune, every hour of the day.

The river in the English Gardens creates a wave that some bored someone discovered could be surfed. People were lined up on either side of the river to take turns surfing it. It was pretty fun to watch, a lot of talented people having a good Wednesday afternoon.

 English Garden, looking pretty, with towers of some famous structure in the background. 

You have now reached the end of this post. I hope you were slightly entertained.