Books ending

I've just finished reading a book (American Gods by Neil Gaiman) and it's put me into a thoughtful mood. 


When I read book I read them, allowing my whole self to become absorbed into the words. Have you ever thought about that imagery? Absorbed? Like my fingers stick to the pages, then melt into the pages and the rest of me follows. Time fades, sensations fade, noise fades and I lose myself and there is only the story.


It feels like diving, in a way. I get submerged and it takes thought and effort to swim to the surface and become aware again of the real world and things I should be doing in it. When I'm there for hours the submersion so total that my sensory to the outside world is completely blocked. 


Then when the story ends, abruptly, suddenly (because I've been reading the words, not noticing the thinning stack of pages against my right hand) the real world and the story world collide jarringly. The sounds and the textures of the story have filled me so completely and when the characters are ripped from existence there is a silence like no other silence I have experienced. Even though I haven't been making a sound for hours the quiet is now eerie and sharp and expansive. It's like an inhale of breath, it's a void that used to be full of so much noise. It leaves a ringing echo, when the book closes. I had so much and inexplicably it's all gone and I am left lonely and cold. 


I am a reader, if you haven't guessed. I love stories. They are timeless and seem to inhabit a negative space. Stories can do amazing things yet they live on printed pages and in finite space. You can go there, become wholly changed, yet return to find everything exactly as you left it, only now all the meanings have changed. Is it strange that they can do that? Is it strange that we can do that?


Go read a story. Go make a story.  

Kentucky

It has been quite a while. I have spent a good amount of the interim time in Kentucky. There's so much that happened there that I'm not sure where I want to begin. So I suggest you read my friends blog because she talks about a lot of what we got up to, plus a good portion of the pictures are mine. So instead of redoing it all and waiting a kajillion years for my slow internet to upload photos, just check it out. 

I will add these photos though. They are from the Lexington cemetery which is well known for its landscaped beauty. It was a gorgeous fall day and everything looks so enchanting. 

A lot of the headstones  were large and intricately carved. Some of them were old and worn to illegibility. 

This one is a little cherub asleep on a stone, and the moss has come creeping in on it.  

Update

I nanny currently for that green mulah that is so desired by most people who like to eat and stay warm. And the kids I nanny can be very darling. Examples:

The boy, I will call Luke, is three years old and quite a character. I am his play buddy so he's always making sure I have my sword and my helmet so we can play properly. Even when his friends come over I need to be dressed in all my evil-fighting regalia. I usually try to take it off unnoticed because those plastic helmets don't actually fit on my head and they are always snagging my hair. But Luke is insistent.

One time he had two friends over (making it three 3-year-olds and me) and we all had guns. They were all shouting, "I'm Star Wars!" and then make a series of shooting noises. Originally we were on teams, but it quickly evolved into everyone hunting me. 3-year-olds may seems almost harmless, but put them in packs and arm them with heavy plastic machinery they turn quite lethal. The game continued for a while, mostly, I think, because my death scenes were so legendary. I found if I made a great, lasting commotion about it they would stop attacking and simply watch my amazing acting skills (which are amazing).

Other times when we play with guns (Luke always being "Star Wars!" [said in a very angry voice]) We just aim the gun at each other and every once in a while one of us will fall down and play dead for a few seconds. There is a plethora of Nerf guns in the house, but we still have to play Russian Roulette with only one dart between the two of us. And that single dart is usually greatly slobbered on because it's the baby's favorite chew toy.

The baby, Samantha, is a doll. So darling and funny. She doesn't know any human words yet, but she sounds like an Ewok when she talks. Sometimes she gets really into telling me something and I have no idea what she's trying to say, but it's adorable. She also dances really well and shakes her head "no". She's got a lot of spunk for one who can barely walk.

And that is my life thus far.

Midnight Baking

Last night I came home late from work. My entrance woke my mother who had fallen asleep on the couch. Mother leapt off of the couch and started moving.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"Midnight." I said.

"What?"

"It's midnight." I repeated, watching her dash around to no specific destination.

"But what time is it?" She was frantic.

"Mom! It's midnight. Twelve o'clock in the morning."

She moved around. "What time is it?"

"It. is. midnight."

She flapped her hands and looked desperate, "But what does that mean?!"

I laughed (not kind, I know, but you try doing it differently). "You're the one that's freaking out. You tell me." Then I noticed that the oven was on, so I opened it. "It's your bread." I told my despairing mother.

Her eyes finally started to focus. "Oh. Bread. Ok." She then pushed some buttons and told me to put the now risen loaves back in the oven, and turned on the timer. I was a little wary leaving her alone in her sleepy state with the oven and the eight fluffy round loaves of bread. But I was tired, so I did anyway.

I finished getting ready for bed and thought I better just do a last check on the Sleeping Baking Beauty. I barely saved the loaves from burning. They are a dark brown instead of a burnt black. "Mom!" I chided her. "Your timer is going off!"

She raised her head from the couch and said, "Oh.... put the other loaves in. Timer."

I went over and stood next to her. "Mom, can I trust you to take out the bread? Because I'm going to bed now and you didn't do so well last time."

"No, I'm fine. I've had a nice nap. I'm awake now," she said but laid her head back down. So I set the oven timer and put an alarm on her phone, thinking that between the two she should wake up decently.

This morning I went into the kitchen and found two very burnt loaves of bread. Indeed.

Update

So, I have not written in an age. Mostly because my life is about as exciting as an apple that sits in the windowsill until it becomes an old fogy face or a pile of ooze.

But! I thought I'd make even that slow event sound exciting, so be prepared for my amazing writing skills (*cough cough).

I haven't been able to find a job so I succumbed and started nannying for a family down the street. The kids are adorable (softened with a bit of fussiness and really dirty diapers). The girl is nearly one and has the most amazing wardrobe. If she wasn't the size of my calf I might seriously fall to klepto tendencies. Today I was feeding her some lunch (which was difficult because she was using all her rations to feed the floor). Then she shared a bit with me then shoved her food into her face. I cooed at her, "Are you shoving that gold fish into your eye?" and she giggled and kind rolled her head to one side, like "Yeeees."

And the other day she was napping but I heard some noise from her room so I went in to check on her and she was completely awake, just lounging back on her pillow. She saw me and her face broke into this huge smile and she held out her hand to me as if to say, "Hey! I'm just chillin here, in my crib. So glad you could make it!"

Lately she's taken to crawling intensely. She'll think about her destination for a minute then put her head down and charge towards her goal with serious determination. Her navigation skills could use some work though, because she's been running into walls n' stuff. She gets so angry if she has to look up mid-crawl. It slows her down, but... so does the wall.

There's the extent of it. I am blanking on my more exciting adventures with those kids, but more will come, I'm sure, because it's all my life consists of at the moment.

Surprise Party!

Yesterday was my mother's 50th birthday, so we celebrated her by surprising her with a lot of people, a lot of food, and homemade ice cream. It transpired thus:

My mom was planning on dinner with just her children, and it was going to be later because the little boys have football practice til 8:30. So we all played along and let her make call in and make a reservation. But before then Nik took her out for ice cream with his girlfriend, who couldn't come to dinner but had still gotten her something (a likely story). Then while driving my aunt called Nik, completely frantic and concerned, "Nik! Grandma has fallen down and we can't get her up. We need your help! Where are you?! Can you come?" So Nik and Co. headed up to my aunt's house.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party was in my aunt's kitchen, doing last minute preparations. We all stationed ourselves in position and then Teeny got a sudden idea. "Let's really have Grandma on the ground!" and though most people didn't seem to think this was a good idea (she is 99, after all, and already broke her back this year) Teeny was insistent, and with the help of several gentlemen they lowered Grandma onto the floor in the front entryway. They gave some pillows, dumped her walker strategically, then turned her wig so it was just askew.

When my Mom and Nik entered Grandma started moaning in great pain (she is quite the actress, that lady), escalating in pitch. Teeny and my mom fumbled, explained, and suggested for a minute, then Teeny said, "She's just so hot. Could you go get her come ice or a cold rag in the kitchen?" (My uncle was all for saying, "Go boil some water!" or "Grab some towels," but we opted for something slightly more logical) So my mom dashed into the kitchen where she met a crowd of people who shouted "SURPRISE!"

Ahahaha! She was shocked. "That is cruel!" she said, "You guys are so mean." She covered her face, and Grandma came walking in, her wig on straight and a very satisfied smile on her face. Mom had no idea. It was wonderful. Nik was laughing, as was must every one else. A few were disappointed there were no tears. Teeny thought she ought to have milked the tragedy a little more, but it was all good. After the initial shock wore off she was delighted.

*Chuckle. I am very satisfied.

Grandma runs me over

On Thursday my great-aunt hired me to take my great-grandma out for a little while. These two charming women have somewhat of a Mrs. Bates/Miss Bates relationship, not quite that extreme but sometimes close.

My darling great-grandmother is turning 99 (that's right, ninety-nine) in just a couple weeks, so getting her around in not exactly easy, and neither is talking to her since she can't quite hear and her short-term memory is suffering somewhat. But still I love her, and so was glad of the opportunity of taking her to pick up her hearing aid, getting some Arbie's, and do some grocery shopping. My great-aunt packed a cooler full of ice, cups, and coke for the trip.

The visit to the grocery store was by far the highlight of the adventure. We got grandma into one of those jazzy scooters with a shopping cart attached and just let her go. She insisted on following me though, so for most of the trip I was ghosted by an old lady on a scooter.

Down one aisle she said that we needed some coke, so I picked up a box of cans and said, "Grandma, I'm going to put this in your cart instead of mine." She responded "Ok." Then rammed me over with her scooter. She just held down the go lever, pushing me back while I've got this big thing of soda in my hands. "Grandma, stop! Stop!" But she didn't really hear me, so I had to reach over and pull her hand off the controls.

Then we had a big debate over marshmallows. Growing up during the Depression made my Grandma very conservative with money and food. She needed marshmallows but couldn't stand the fact that a bag was almost $3. Thank goodness for Western Family.

After settling on which bag of marshmallows (I was able to convince her that the fruit kind, already horrible [hence the reduced price], taste particularly nasty in chocolate) we found the rest of the aisle a-litter with new merchandise and carts (and one poor bloke who was having a real tough time deciding on pasta).

So I said, "Grandma, we'll have to go back that way. Do you think you can reverse straight all the way back?" She looked at me and said, "Yeah." then clenched her fist around the reverse lever and shot backwards, without even looking, straight into the jell-O and cake mixes. And she just kept pushing reverse so the scooter kind of scratched and skidded along the shelves for a bit before I was able to get her to stop. "Grandma! Whoa! Stop!" When she finally heard me she just put her hands in her lap and waited.

I started cleaning up the wreck, but a real nice employee came over and said, "I'll take care of this, don't worry." Which, if we analyze the subtext, would sound more like, "I can see she's a handful, so keep a closer eye on her and stop wrecking my store."

The whole fiasco was fun though. I'm glad I went. I love her dearly. Maybe I'll get her a jazzy for her birthday.

It's a matter of taste

A few days ago my mom had a catering job and she called me on her way over in a moment of panic and requested my mad catering-skills to come and assist her before the party started. So I went on over and she handed me some frozen concentrate, countrytime powder, real lemon juice, and a large orange cooler and told me to make some lemonade.

Now, unbeknownst to my mother I have never mixed such things to make a drink. I am a very much a one- or two-ingredients per drink kind of girl, but she's the boss so I just started mixing some stuff, tasting along the way to see how I was going. When I thought it was nearly there I had my mother taste-test it, and her reaction was not what I was expecting.

"Whoa! Wow. That's... that's, well..." I was kind of surprised because, I mean, how wrong can you go with lemonade? Especially when there's powder and mix for you? I guess I must be really talented or something. Mother continued, "You put that much lemon in? Ok, well... hmmm...." She then took the Costco sized Countrytime powder mix and dumped half of it it. "Hopefully that will do something." She said.

Somewhat abashed I abandoned the lemonade and moved over to the caprese and lettuce-wraps. My mom ended up fixing my bout of creativity and the lemonade was fine. But, lesson learned for next time!

I made a bag!

Look at this!

Hidden in the depths of 50 lb. flour bags and enough rice to feed a chinese village, not to mention a sizable box of ties, a partial drum set, and shoes of various kinds and sizes was this! It happens to be my grandfather's sewing machine, sewing table, I think, technically. I had no idea we had it until I was organizing and tried to move this surprisingly heavy nightstand. I explored and found a sewing machine within its bowels.

SO (sew)

A day of furious planning, pinning, ironing was immediately necessary.

After digging through boxes of fabric inherited from my grandmother, and after doodling all over my sketch book, after debating color schemes and my actual talent with a sewing machine, I made this!

It's a purse! And it's just the perfect size (big enough for a notebook and novel, plus other normal purse things, but without being too cumbersome).

And look inside! That is correct, it is lined with adorable fabric and given pockets too! A pocket for a pen, my sunglasses, chapstick, and then a couple extra for girly things, I suppose. Or my pocket knife. I should get a pocket knife.

It was hard, but satisfying. Those little flags were... let's just say it didn't take long for me to hate them. And attaching the lining and the outside together was also difficult and in need of restitching a couple of times. But we all made it through, and I am glad.

Ode to Neil Gaiman

(illustration by Tom Gauld)

I kind of have this thing for Neil Gaiman. He is an author that really bends his genre and does fantasy in a refreshing way that reminds me that fantasy can be good and enjoyable without being cliche or trite.

I just got a collection of short-stories he helped compile (along with Al Sarrantonio). In the intro he described very well my reason for reading, "We wanted to read stories that used a lightning flash of magic as a way of showing us something we have already seen a thousand times as if we had never seen it before... It's the magic of fiction: you take the words and you build them into worlds. It seemed to us that the fantastic can be, can do, so much more than its detractors assume: it can illuminate the real, it can distort it, it can mask it, it can hide it. It can show you the world you know in a way that makes you realise you've never looked at it, not looked at it. G.K. Chesterton compared fantastic fiction to going on holiday--that the importance of your holiday is the moment you return, and you see the place you live through fresh eyes."

A lot of other people seem to think so as well, because they keep making his stuff into movies.

Coraline

This one is just good. Unexpected, slightly creepy, but good for many reasons.

Stardust

This one is just enchanting, clever, and highly enjoyable.

Sandman

This one is a graphic novel series, not actually a movie, but it's cool

Good Omens (Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett)

This one is also not a movie, but a really fun book. This is an adaption by some kids and I actually think they did a really good job, considering their budget. They remain true to the book (huzzah!). Plus it reminds me of these book projects we had to do in high school.

So there is some inspiration, to get me to use my pen to capture a snippet of the vast expanse of my mind.

Firework!

I really like this song, even though I'm not a usual fan of Katy Perry. I think it is just good, with a good message and a good feeling.

I chose this video because her music video is, not gonna lie, totally freaky and bizarre. It tries to be uplifting and encouraging, but I think they pulled only minimal success through that forest of flash, shock, and misdirected creativity. Plus this one, you get to see the words!

Surprise!

Here is a spider:

And let me tell you how this spider ended up at my house, in a plastic bucket with a saran-wrap lid.

First, I was at a baseball game (which really isn't an important factor, but fun nonetheless, especially because Noah made a home run, and an excellent catch). Then I rode home with my mother in my brother's car. We couldn't take the rest of the kids because the car was full of Ben's fix-it and build-it gear and other miscellaneous junk that accumulates in the cars of the American Youth.

On our way home we stopped to buy some plants (another non-important though interesting fact). We crammed the plants between the build-it and fix-it gear and on top of the junk. Then we headed towards the freeway and just as we were turning onto it I saw our friend from Image no. 1 come crawling out onto the dashboard with some business in mind. In my panicked mind I believed that I was its business, since it crittered right over to me, as though it had something important to discuss.

Naturally I pushed back into my seat as far as I could and started jabbering, "Mom! Mom! Mom, there's a spider. Spider! Spider! Mom, there's a spider." and I started into some hysterical laughter.

She looked over from the driver's seat. "Where? Oh! Oh! Spider! Spider!" Instinctively we both started looking around for something useful. We found a half-empty bottle of water, sandpaper, nails, ruler, box, plants (tomatoes, sage, etc.), buckets, full-length red down coat complete with hood, cookies, baseball helmet, mini soda, purse, but nothing really help this spider problem. No paper for mushing, no cup for catching. We thought about catching it in the bottle, but the spider was too big for the hole (now isn't that frightening?).

But we really wanted to catch it because this spider was too big to kill. There's a certain point where a spider becomes a trophy for the ordeal of finding it and being clever enough to capture the monster.

Mostly, though, the problem was that we were driving at this point, over 50 mph with a whole trail of cars behind us. The spider changed his route from me to my more attractive mother and she really started to panic. "Brianna! Brianna, find me something quick!"

Everything within my arm's reach was useless so I took my seatbelt off and went through the rest of the junk, berating Ben the whole time for not having the proper kind of trash in his car.

When the spider got to the other side of the dashboard and climbed up to Mom's eye-level (no doubt in the hopes of some romantic and sultry endeavor, or perhaps murder to the face) she decided the spider had more precedence than driving, so she pulled over to the side, though we had to pause our spider-dealings for a moment and figure out how to turn on the hazard lights (which was surprisingly tricky).

In the end we got a bucket and a pack of sandpaper. Slowly and gently my mom slid a baseball photo behind the spider (trying not to alarm it into fleeing into the crevice) and after several deep breaths she flicked it towards herself and I caught it in the bucket and slammed down the sandpaper.

Once the spider was contained we put our seatbelts back on and re-entered traffic, chuckling to ourselves, as though this was a typical event, and a typical way of dealing with it.

But of course, halfway home I wanted to make sure the spider was where he was supposed to be. So I peaked a look and found him right at the edge of the bucket, staring up at me, waiting. So I slammed the sandpaper back on, though by doing so almost dislodged the bucked from my legs. My mom screamed even though I caught it. No worries. Spider remained contained and is now enjoying some light and attraction.

We're pretty sure it's a kind of jumping spider, perhaps a bold jumping spider, kinda like this. The internet authority claims that jumping spiders are "completely harmless", but come on. A face and a look like that is very harmful. And even if they're not poisonous, per se, there is still a very probable psychological harm that comes from an encounter. So there.

My life has been kind of standard, so my blog is kind of boring. Sorry 'bout that (though I'm sure you weren't really paying attention anyway, but I was).

But here are some current highlights:

• "The dead girl's my age!" (my grandma on a funeral she went to).
• Something called a "Narggle Kiss" (hehehe...)
• A weeded garden (whew! [though my brother did most of the work])
• A 20's Movie-Premier-themed Wedding that was absolutely wonderful (way to go Liv! and Skyler!)
• Dancing in the rain (there is tons of it, so we must dance--it's the only sensible thing to be done!)
• A job interview (tomorrow...)
• A quiet house (this one is new... and short-lived)
• Running (I've decided to train for a half-marathon *woowoo!)

Alright, I think that's it. If anything more comes up, you may or may not be informed.

Update of my life

So I know it has been FOREVER since I've communicated on the internet. If you cared at all, I apologize. But here is what I have been doing with my exciting and fun-filled life! (and we'll be going backwards because I uploaded the pictures in the wrong order and am too lazy to fix that).

DISNEYLAND!

This is where the excitement ended, and what a wonderful place to end up! It was so fun and I haven't been in years. ALSO it was the first time I went on a roller-coaster with a loop (applause, please. And then more applause).

I have been a wimp with roller-coasters since I was seven, when my mom told me we were going on the bumper cars, but really it was the legendary White Roller-Coaster. Scarred me for 15 years, thanks madre! But it's ok, because I have evidently recovered. I was absolutely rushed with adrenaline and by the time I got off the California Screamin' my face was wet with tears (I have no idea where they came from, though I suspect I should be embarrassed by that) and my hands were tingly and numb. But it was cool! I survived and it was almost fun. Then to top it all off I went on Tower of Terror (a mild standing ovation, if you please). To quote my mom, "It's lucky you went with boys, otherwise you wouldn't even have considered it," which is so true. It was in no way my own idea, but I fell into peer pressure and am glad of it though I nearly peed my pants in anticipation.

POPPIES!

This was taken on the drive to So Cal (Socal? SoCal? I'm obviously not cool enough to know). The South California. Whatever it's called, it's beautiful and sunny, though very windy (intense push-you-over kind of wind on the beach). We passed this field of orange poppies and stopped the car so we could go frolic. But frolicking was made impossible due to large amounts of barrier bushes that were full of thistles and thorns. So we simply admired it from a distance. And look at how blue the ocean is! Just wonderful.

THE REDWOODS

You can't see the scale on this sucker, but believe me, it's massive. Those trees are just giants! I've never seen them before and it was fantastic. They are so strong and impervious to everything, including fire. We went inside one that was covered in black burns and hollowed out due to flames but it was still alive and growing. Amazing.

RAINBOW CLOUD

This was near the beginning of our trip. We passed this cloud rainbow. I hadn't seen one of these before either, and didn't really know it was possible, but there it is. A cloud that was thin enough to create a rainbow effect without it raining. It was really neat.

GRADUATION

That's right, folks. All this adventurousness started because I graduated, which naturally required some celebration. So I've done it! Finished with school! I've got a college degree, and holy cow! I never thought I'd make it, but I just kind of closed my eyes and kept pushing through and now it's over. Hoorah!

Of course the question everyone is asking is, "Now what?" But, naturally, I have no idea. Life, of course. A career, I guess. But where? When? What? I have no answer to those questions, but I'll figure something out, I'm sure. Right now I'm just happy to be done (now it's your turn to jump up and down in childish excitement, like me).

Summer is just around the corner

Summer is nearing! I can hear it like an ice cream truck 3 1/2 streets over. Which means, despite the indecisive weather, I will be out of school! And when there is no school there is a surprising amount of time for fun things. So since I currently don't have much time (that whole school bit 'n all) I will simply give a list of things I would like to do with my summer.

• Learn how to play the ukulele
• Run (which I have been craving, oddly enough)
• Sleep normal hours
• Earn some money (always a handy thing to have lying around)
• Go places I've never been before
• Read recreationally
• Water slide (SWIM)
• Paint a bit
• Take more pictures
• Make a movie
• Learn how to edit
• Have a picnic (or several)
• Eat my weight in watermelon (which a lot of watermelon)

Thinking about this is somewhat of a downer because I still have 3 papers to write, 5 finals to take, and 2 presentations to give :( But as I see it the summer is a large and well-deserved reward for making it through the school year. So yay!

Oh weather

Spring is occasionally in the air. It was sunny and warm on Friday. Today it snowed. So, naturally the world is a little confused and no one knows what's going on or who's in charge of what. The snow elves keep making that white stuff because the orders for the winter-weather-halt was misplaced between the pansy layout and the request for lily-bulb upgrades. It's all in chaos, more or less, but we manage by wearing our coat while carrying flip-flops (just in case). I just hope they get it settled soon. I want a warm weekend!

Things I Love About Life

• Swimming
• Movies (good ones with friends, snuggles, and candy)
• Letter-writing
• Inside jokes
• Rolling down hills
• Absolutely wonderful younger siblings
• Inspiring older siblings
• Silly parents
• A friend finding happiness
• Creating something you like
• Worrying you're going to fail, then not failing
• Jamming out to a great song
• Sunshine
• Discovering a new and wonderful book
• Passion
• Jumping in puddles
• Laughing
• Making someone laugh
• Realizing you do homework better than you thought
• Good food
• Hot chocolate
• Warm showers
• The clickity-click of this keyboard

And much much more!

Good Ol' Monty

I took a Monty Python class last semester, and I loved it. I thought I'd share with you one of my more favorite skits. Perhaps it will brighten your weekend.

A List of Creativity

I have been feeling the need for some newness and creativity. You know how it gets when you just want to express yourself or do something but your cramped by space, time, and money?

So I've compiled a list to help get one out of a creative/activity slump:

• Take a good picture (it may take a few tries. That's the point.)
• Find new music you like
• Find a new blog to follow
• Paint something (a card, a painting, a chair, etc.)
• Try a new hairdo
• Do some crazy makeup
• Write a haiku
• Bake something (delicious)
• Do yoga
• Rearrange your furniture
• Watch an artsy movie
• Tie a scarf or belt around your person in some new manner
• Sew something (a button onto something, your initials, etc.)
• Cut some paper (into shapes or make a pop-up card)

So there you go, if you're ever in need for a creative pick-me-up, I hope this helps.

Have a good day!

Some More Pretty Pictures

So today, class, we are exploring some American painters. I hope you enjoy (I certainly did).

Inness "Home of the Heron"

Don't you just feel it? That brooding expectation?

Cassatt "Breakfast in Bed"

Isn't this just beautiful and wonderfully understated?

I love her profile, and for some reason her right arm. It's very elegant, but that right arms adds a great deal of reality to the piece.

Apparently she was quite the scandal, with numerous affairs and possible abortions (very daring for the time period). You know women of the age would sometimes put arsenic on their skin to make it translucent (so you could see the blue veins underneath. How strange!)

Whistler, "Blackboard"

I love her dress, the texture and such.

The British Language

Here are some fun British phrases I hope you'll enjoy:

Lollipop man: The crossing guard in front of schools.

Jam tomorrow: a common expression meaning that if you do something today you'll be rewarded tomorrow.

nouse: common sense; intelligence

scupper: to defeat (originally it was used in the Hornblower sense, as in to sink an enemy ship)

chuffed: delighted, pleased ("chuffed to bits")

Sod off!: Go away!

moose: unpleasant, boring; ugly person

Family White Elephant

Every after Christmas and before New Year's we have a family adult Christmas party that includes the passing of white elephant gifts. This year this is what my brother brought:

In case you can't tell that is a drum cymbal with a self-help relationships video, a glow stick, and hand warmers taped onto it. It was voted as one of the worst gifts present. The other gift that tied for worst was my cousin's sack lunch that he took out of his car and wrapped up with the host's wrapping paper.

This party is usually very fun, as my family can get quite creative with what they bring. There were also some Cialis pill boxes (empty, but containing money), a plethora of dollar-store man-candy calendars, a jar full of homemade puppets' heads, and I think my personal favorite was a live lobster wrapped up in a macey's clothing box. Ah, family.