Makeup Final

HEY HEY HEY

LOOK AT MY FACE!!!

I was supposed to be this guy (see below) What dost thou think?

Is it not FREAKIN' AWESOME?!

Granted I didn't have a top hat or a cravat, but I still think it turned out rather decent.

And now finals are over! Yeah!

French Final

(This picture will make sense shortly)

Holy holy of all that is holy (Saint saint de tout qui est saint)

I SURVIVED!!!

Survived what? you may ask. And yes you would be correct in thinking it was something beastly, frightening, fanged, and involved excessive use of that gutteral noise.

MY FRENCH FINAL

This is has been a most adventurous semester in terms of scholastic leaps. I have been enrolled in French 321, Advanced Grammar from the fearsome head of the department herself: Madame Chantall P. Thompson. Unless you are a close family relative that name should strike fear into the very center of your American soul. She is an amazing woman, in the old-school sense of the word. Powerful, frightening, throws lightening bolts. And we all want to be her, but can't make it past her laser-eyed look of complete comprehension.

Let me make this clear to you: I HAVE BEEN TO NO PLACE THAT SPEAKS FRENCH, unlike the vast majority of my class. So I have lagged, struggled, and doggie-paddled my way to the end of this semester. But I have made it out alive! Missing a limb or two, but ALIVE!

We had 90 multiple choice questions, involving nearly all possible tenses "Ah, non, my dear, that would be the futur anterieur, NOT the conditional past." And then we had to write 75 lines in full-blown French. For one of the sections we were supposed to describe a happy moment in the past. So I talked about a tea party I had with my hedgehog (naturally). But I finished describing the majority of the action and still had 13 lines to go. So this tea party slowly got more and more adventurous. My hedgehog went on a rampage (which directly translated from French comes out sounding like "she rose up in large acts of destruction"). Hot chocolate was thrown everywhere. Tea cups were flying. The dolls were screaming! I think I should get points for creativity because I can almost guarantee that no one else had such an exciting tea party in their childhood's, much less with a hedgehog.

DOOOOD

LONDON THEATRE STUDY ABROAD

So I just got accepted into the London Theatre study abroad, and needless to say I am sooooo ecstatically excited. I'm not going 'til the end of April, and I have no clue how I'm going to pay for it, but holy cow! How exciting! Theatre! in LONDON!

Greatest News Ever

So, my mom and I are looking at the ads for Black Friday (we're very proactive, considering it's already midnight and half the bargains are being pulled of the shelves as we speak). But we came across one of the greatest ads featured in Khol's (which opens at the much more sane hour of 4 AM) But the ad is for an NFL print SNUGGIE for MEN.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does that not make you so ridiculously happy? Now men can be comfortable and snuggled up in front of the TV without their masculinity questioned. They can proudly display their preferred team of men acting mannish and hitting other people with as much force as possible all for the sake of a oblong shaped ball.

Ok, so I realize I might have been a little behind on this thing, since I just googled in and everyone and their goldfish have NFL Snuggies. But it still absolutely made my day.

Bearded Lady!

Guess who had their first facial hair experience? That's right,

ME!!!

Is life not so happy when this is your assignment? 

Thus far, best day of November.

This is how I looked when I went to the library, my biology class, the bookstore, and the grocery store. I received some compliments, many confused stares, and lots and lots of personal satisfaction. I asked a security guard where to return the CD's, I checked out a book, and I asked a clerk where to find rubbing alcohol. I was actually surprised at how casual there response was. But my roommates tailed me and where able to give a more accurate account of my reception. Lots of subtle followers, rubber necks, and one dumbfounded cashier.

On our way to the grocery story Katrina looked down and said, "Oh no! I'm still in my sock-monkey nightshirt and I don't have a bra on." 

Then Erin pointed to me and said, "Um, she has a beard."

Problem solved.

Plants

I bought these pots for 50 cents each at Target. And they're GROWING!! I didn't think they'd actually work. I mean, 50 cents for your own basil? You know what this means? Next time I'm at Target, I'm get getting the christmas tree seeds and some miracle grow. 

Playing With Makeup!

Ok, so here are a few pictures of my recent makeup-ing extravaganza. I had fun, and you should too. 

This is the most recent. We were supposed to do "stylized" and I didn't really know what to do. So I came up with a fairy. I really wanted to try getting rid of my eyebrows, so I did (believe it or not I used a glue stick). The teach said I need eyebrows to make it look more human, but... it's a fairy. (bad quality due to phone camera, not real camera). 

This is my friend's younger sister. She's being Lady GaGa. I had fun with this one. (Sorry it took me so long. I got a little tooo perfectionista). 

This is one of my little brothers (the rest were not on this camera) But he was Dracula. (We later put blood dripping out of his mouth). 

This is my wound makeup. Unlike the previous one, I did this myself. We were supposed to bring pictures to class, but I had a hard time because the pictures made me queasy. Pahaha.

 

This was a typical glamour makeup for a tea party I hosted. (It ended up being a complete bust. My own roommates didn't even come). 

A Few Fall Things

This tree smiled at me the other day and it made me smile. Trees really do have so much personality, don't you think? Especially in the fall. I feel like they are all getting gussied up for a ball or something. 

This shot, though nothing specific or special, is rather interesting, don't you think? There is the stump of a long dead tree, but it's surrounded by leaves of its kindred. 

A street sign I passed with a lovely tree behind it (the one with the face, actually). 

Ah, fall. It's so stirring. Everything is changing and you can feel it in the crisp air. Hey this all reminds me of a poem I wrote last year. Here ya go:

October

Citrus and cinnamon swirl on the wind.

Clouds condense against the trees.

An apple crunch beneath my feet

Tells of the world leaving childhood,

And shedding its colorful youth.

The moon is dipped in pale caramel

By the fingers of fretted ghosts

And soon the world will welcome death

In dark long hands that clasp cold earth.

Gross and Gory

Sooo.... I'm in this makeup class right? Well we were the victims of a mock disaster, so we got all goried up with fake blood and dirt and rocks.

With this master piece I played a dead person. I sprawled myself over some crates and proceeded not to move. The trainees checked me (I was dead) and so they left me 'til the very end. It wasn't that comfortable so I kept having to change my position. Then every time someone with a flashlight came by I froze again.

I must say I was quite impressed with our class. They were all screaming and crying and moaning. One girl lost her baby and was running around screaming "Abby!! ABBY!!!" A couple people were wailing in Spanish, another girl was screaming in sign language. One girl died while being rescued. It was all very amusing.

Happy October!

Side Effects

So... I'm taking this medication and ... This is what happens whenever I chance upon a sunbeam. 

Apparently this stuff makes you kind of sensitive to sun exposure. It wasn't always like this, but it's getting worse. I'm turning into a vampire, and not the cool kind that glisten with sweat in the sun, but the ones that collapse into ash, only I explode into hives and then collapse into ash.  

Items to acquire: Long-sleeves for all occasions

Parasol 

Gloves

Anti-itch cream

Vampire-like stare

Moodiness (to go with vampire stare)

Or... new medication. 

oh, Zac ...

Sooo..... I saw this movie. .. And I have a confession. I like Zac Efron.

It's very unexpected for me. I am usually not a pretty boy person, which Zac Efron totally is (and it's not a bad thing, just a form a classification--- I don't want to upset anybody here. No crazy upset 14-year-old girl coming at me with a knife).

Not that I'm going to sport a T-shirt, lunch box, or other paraphernalia (though the occasional small poster may make its way onto my wall), but I do have to say that when I see him my heart gets a little pitter-patter.

MMMmmmm.....Bacon

So I'm in this biology class and for this class we have to read Francis Bacon. Now if you're like me you've heard his name flit around a couple of time, but never knew what it landed on. Well it's this book called The Advancement of Learning. And I'm supposed to write an essay on it that is due tomorrow. Never mind that it's over 200 pages of straight text, and although it's not in iambic pentameter, it is still no easier to read than Mr. Shakespeare. (written in 1605)

Naturally, I have not finished, I haven't even made it half way the book, but I have to come up with something. I tried looking for help but sparknotes doesn't have it, neither does cliffnotes. It is that old and unknown. 

Another thing: Bacon quotes King Solomon all the time. I don't know who his sources were, but they are so frequent and extensive that I think these two guys were homeboys or something. Solomon was apparently quite the philosopher on all things scientific. 

BURN

So... you see this? This is from the time when I burnt my thumb nail. Yes, that is correct. I burnt my thumb nail. 

It happened like this: I was lighting a candle with a match. The candle was a really nice smelling one so naturally, there wasn't much left. While waiting for the wick to catch this thought crossed my brain: Hmmm, My thumb is kinda hot. Quickly followed by: Something smells not like my candle. And then things clicked--or burned rather. 

And can I just say that burnt nail smells like burnt hair x 10, almost as bad as burnt wool-----but let's be honest, nothing can top burnt wool except more burnt wool. If you want to get rid of a pesky boy and a few of your neighbors at the same time, burn some wool. But be aware, you might get rid of yourself while your at it. And you might also get a visit from a vengeful flock of fluffy sheep. I hear they're rather like the Mofia in revenge. The Russian mofia, mind you, not the Italian or Asian. 

AND you all thought I was lying about the Jedi on our Lake Powell trip, but I wasn't. He's right there, on the left, next to the fair, balding, and farmer-tanned man (don't let looks deceive. he is actually very funny). 

 We don't know why Danny is in the water while wearing his long-sleeved clothes. Perhaps it was cold. 

Things I Made

Here is Cole's birthday. The cake I made is on fire in this picture, but don't worry--that's supposed to happen. 

Since Cole is a fan of Star Wars I made him a cake in similitude of a Wookie. I know it looks like a hairy tombstone, but it's 100% homemade, so you are impressed. 

And in a magazine I found a recipe for flour-less chocolate cookies. Naturally I was curious, so I three timesed the recipe. There was no flour, no butter, but a LOT of sugar, some cocoa and a few egg whites, plus chocolate chunks. It ended up tasting somewhat meringue-ish. Very rich, but friendly to celiac people. 

 
A remake? Quite possibly. But the dough goes a lot farther than I was expecting, so it'll be a while before I finish it off. 

Jackson Sleep-Walking

This is Jackson--with his clothes on.

The other night we watched Inkheart for a little family movie night. Jackson, who was most insistent about renting it, fell asleep in the first ten minutes. After the movie was over the rest of us retired to the kitchen for a late night snack while Jackson snoozed on the couch (rather loudly as a matter of fact). A few minutes later Jackson walks by, bleary-eyed, and confused, and also completely naked.

Zak and I looked at each other. Cole went over to the couch and found a pile of discarded kid clothes.

Then Jackson returned, still naked, still confused, with this pinched looked on hi face. He walked around the kitchen's perimeter, then circled the island counter, and walked back into the bedroom. We all just watched him, not impeding or talking---Just watching. After he walked back out my mom followed him and found him in the bathroom--with the lights on-- running into the walls with that pinched look still on his face. Still naked. My mom helped him find the toilet and that seemed to solve his problem.

Lake Powell

I am reawakening this dormant blog with news from Lake Powell. Pictures will follow when I contrive to steal them from my brother's computer. Quick numbers: 1 houseboat, 4 jet skis, 40 people (including 97 year-old grandma and one Jedi), lots of food.  

Lake Powell has been known as great adoration and vexation to my family. We have been going there with all the extendeds since I was little and have had many adventures. This particular year we acquired 1 totaled boat and 1 damaged jet ski (who's repair cost was over $800), But this was hardly surprising, considering our past experiences. 

The disastrous trip of '06 had actually 2 totaled ski boats, a missing house boat, 1 ruined rental boat, a jack-knifed trailer, two fragile females--one 1 month old, the other 94, and 1 double-layered raspberry chocolate cake afloat in the melted ice water of a stranded cooler. SO 1 boat and 1 jet ski was hardly a thing to consider. 

The first day of this year's Lake Powell trip my aunt accidentally replaced her eye drops with hydrogen peroxide. She did not go blind, but sported a pair of nicely swollen and dripping eye-lids for the rest of the trip. On the way down one of the trip's toddlers slammed his foot in the car door so had to go around the whole time hobbling on a bandaged leg. 

Day two one of the jet skis swallowed a rope. All the men in our tribe lifted it up out of the water and dissected it on the beach and removed the offensive strand of nylon. They then put it back together and replaced it on the water. Also, in the evening, one of my cousins did his traditional glow stick dance. This sounds kind of weird/awkward but he tied 2 glow sticks on the ends of strings and spun them around, kind of like fire torches. Turn out the fire and turn on the techno and it's actually quite cool. Afterwards he handed out glow sticks to the little kids. 

Naturally this creates a problem: badly tied knots with plastic tubes on the end swung around at the greatest possible speed with a whole crowd of people standing around to watch. Luckily no one got pelted with a flying glow stick, but one kid (my brother, actually) started swinging it out of control and the string + glow stick swung down between his legs. He collapsed instantly into the fetal position on the sand, moaning and groaning like a truly injured man. He was a little more cautious in his next approach to the glow sticks. 

Day 3: This day one of the jet skis actually swallowed a stick. The whole dissection process happened again, with equal success. One cousin speared a fish. That was exciting. Everyone was so surprised that it actually worked that no one knew what to do about it. The fish ended up dying, I'm sure, due to a large gaping hole in its body. It took a while to get the spear out, first of all because no one wanted to touch it, and second because the fish kept moving. 

Day 4: I enjoyed watching young children biff on their face while trying to learn the wakeboard. Put those kids in life jackets and they are haaaardy. Our Jedi told some stories around the camp fire. One of them was about a Chinese boy trying to get to some holy mountain. On the way he met a whole bunch of obstacles, one of which was a leopard. The whole time my mom thought he had been saying leaper. She was just astonished that the kid would through a rock straight into the face of a diseased man, and even more astonished when no one else seemed perturbed. She didn't get it 'til the next day.

Day 5: This day we cleaned up and went home. Naturally it took 3x longer than we had expected. Finally crammed into our car we got a call from an aunt whose car had broken down due to some busted water pipes. We crammed their luggage and people into the remaining cars and left the lemon with a cousin to wait for the new part to come in. On the way home our car overheated once and we got lost 2 or 3 times. But we returned, safe though a little harried. 

It's a long story, but I found it amusing. 

Today Nik came upstairs looking sticky with smugness. "Beat him." He said. He had been playing Jackson at pool. Mind you, Jackson is six. Nik is 25. Jackson followed up the stairs, upset and exasperated. "I can't believe Nik beat me!"

Also today, Mom asked Ben to help her carry something out of the garage. "But it'll be all muddy!" Ben cried. "And I'm wearing my nice white shirt!" World, please note; wife-beaters are not "nice white shirts" and anyone who thinks otherwise is white trash. No exceptions.

Sleep Walker

The other night my brother was doing his habitual sleep-walking routine, only this time he woke up flat faced on the floor with a black eye and a nearly broken nose. No one is quite sure what happened, but my mom heard him moving furniture of some sort or other. 

This brother is fun to have around, and most of it has to do with these sleep-walking stories. Once we camped down in Hava Supai, and he woke up in the middle of the night. It was pitch black and he had no idea where he was. I woke up too, and thinking the noise was a squirrel or unsavory rodent, I turned on my flashlight. Because of this, Nik did not fall into the river or wander into a neighbor's tent. 

On another trip Nik woke up with his arms outstretched and hands open. On the floor was a broken lamp. We had to pay for the lamp as we didn't know Spanish for "Sleep-walking" 

That same trip he frightened some poor man almost to death. We were staying in a hostel and Nik slept on the bottom bunk, and some unlucky stranger slept on the top. In the middle of the night Nik, in all his football-bulking height, starting screaming at the man telling him to STOP IT. The man kept shouting "What?!!! WHAT?!!!" Nik woke up as he left the room and, semi-confused, went back to bed. The man's bunk was completely cleared by the time Nik woke up. 

These are just a few delights. If I were to add the rest of the family, this would be a very long entry. I myself do not roam the halls while dreaming, but nearly all my siblings, aunts, uncles, and mother do. Perhaps some other post....

Aunt in the Bed

The other day I came home very very late from a friend's house. We were finishing the second season of Lost, so naturally we didn't finish til 2:30 in the morning. I came home and walked through the dark house down to my basement bedroom, which is in the very corner of the house, and very much out of the way. I turned on the light and saw a body in the bed. 

I froze and for the splitty-est of seconds I thought it was myself and I was having some very trippy deja-vu experience where I was actually living in the deja-vu part. But then the body moved and sat up. 

It was my aunt, all the way from Connecticut! I totally forgot she was coming into town, and had no idea she'd be using my bed. but there she was, 2:30 in the morning asleep with my stuffed-animal Stitch next to her head. I gave my hasty apologies and turned off the light and shut the door. But the house was still all dark. Now what? I thought. 

NEW POST COMING SOON

to a blog near you!

aka I'll write something great for you in a bit.

Lost Summer

So... my life gets incredibly dull during the summer, which is an incredibly depressing fact. Summer is supposed to be when your life gets excited and you get out and do stuff. But no. 

Today I watched 4 episodes of Lost, finished a novel, perused the internet, and laid on my floor. After it was all said and done I gave the day a nod of satisfaction, as if it resembled productivity in some way. I think the satisfaction came from stopping myself at 4 episodes of Lost, as it easily could have been more. Instead I finished The Road and bawled my eyes out. So, I guess the day has been productive in its emotionality. 

But really?!! Is this to be my summer? My window of freedom? Am I just going to lay on floors and watch/read other people dealing with heightened drama? Quite possibly. Only tomorrow I think I'll change venues and go to a friend's house.  

Are We Not So Freaking Excited?

Look at this!!!!! Is this not going to be amazing?!! It's a shame we have to wait a whole year, but, GAH!!!!! I'm ridiculously excited. Alice in Wonderland...

Mia Wasikowska as Alice

Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen

Anne Hathaway as the White Queen

And our dear old Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter

Plus many many others such as Allan Rickman (Caterpillar), Christopher Lee (Jabberwock), Crispin Glover (who's weird Tim Burton style--Knave of Hearts).

March 5 2010

EXCITEMENT

Little Brothers

My three little brothers were sitting around, debating who to call over to play basketball with them. It had to be someone within walking distance with a decent shot. 

Noah: We could call Jake.

Cole: He wouldn't want to play. 

Jackson: and he sucks. 

(pause)

Noah: I know! Nate Ward! 

Jackson: Yeah! 

(Noah runs over to the phone)

Cole: No! Nate Ward is a cry baby. 

Noah: No he's not---ok maybe he is, but he's just as bad as Jackson.

Jackson: What? 

Birdies!

Freshly hatched little birds of spring.

I think people love the idea of baby birds more than the actual animals. For one, these little squeaks make a decent amount of noise. Plus, they're kind of...ugly. It may be harsh, but we can all see it's true. First of all they're some dusty grey color, second they're not completely covered, third they're awkardly lumpy. 

But let's not be too hasty. I am glad to have them living in the top of this brick pillar. I also know that their defaults are no fault of their own. I mean, they're babies! They are, iconically speaking, adorable. Though we know baby ugliness is unfortunate, it does happen. There was this cousin once, who was sadly mistaken for a troll... but don't worry she's grown out of that. 

Cooking with my Father

It is always and interesting thing to cook with a bachelor, especially if their cooking skills are somewhat limited, by lack of kitchen equipment, imagination, and food. 

This is what happens when a bachelor owns only 1 pot and it is being used for the spaghetti sauce. What about the spaghetti noodles? You either have to cook in shifts and rely on the microwave to reheat or you get creative and boil water in a frying pan. The trick with this is that you have to wait for the center of the noodles to get soft before you can bend them and cook the edges. It makes for an interesting texture. 

Now this is how a man cooks meat. First of all, there is a LOT of it, an entire slab, all red and meaty looking, that could only fit the long way in his sink. It was left there for one day to thaw (I mean, just look at it. It needed the entire day) Then it was put in a crock pot (which is another great invention for the busy bachelor and his slabs of meat) with whole onions and the two carrots we found in the fridge. Mind you, there was only two of us eating, but my dad looked at it and thought, "Yeah, that ought to be enough." 

This is my dad's pot. It is currently sitting in my ladle. As you can imagine, this is a bit problematic. He was once trying to cook something in it (which is difficult if there is more than 1 cup of liquid) and I called it his "pathetic excuse for a pot." He shook his head and said, "No, it's a cute pot." Yes, indeed. So cute that it can fit inside my ladle. 

My Oh-So-Fabulous Gift to My Mother

This mother's day I tried to get my mom something she could use, and since she is quite a chef, I thought something that went in the kitchen would be a good idea. I found this: 

That is correct, ladies and gentlemen. That is a ladle. I repeat: a LADLE. Let us please notice that it takes two hands to hold, could easily ladle up my head, greasy hair and all. 

It also works double for a helmet, if any emergency should arise. They didn't include this on the box, but they should have. "In case of emergency remove ladle from drawer or wall and place over head. Seek safety." 

Some may think this is an odd, exuberant, or excessively useless gift, but I saw it and immediately said, "YES" My dad also thought it was a great success, and if nothing else it would make a very original planter. 

Start of My Summer

So I have moved in with my father for the summer. There are definitely nice things about it, such as the quiet, calm, and nobody in my business. There are also some annoyances, like the fact that he doesn't own a proper pot, or the complete lack of chocolate in his house (which, up until this point, I did not think possible for any human). But I'm settling in, and I think it will be good. 

...

Except for one minor condition concerning the mice. My dad lives on a mini farm in the middle of a very rural area, so mice are quite naturally plentiful. And as his cat died, the mice have been becoming bolder. I don't mean to scare you with the idea that I'm living in a house riddled with rodents, where there is a fear to step on the floor or open drawers, because that is simply not the case. But I have seen two skitter across the floor in broad daylight, one was while I was unpacking, the other while my dad and I were having a conversation. "Mouse!" I cried and pointed. He turned and looked. "Oh." He said nonchalantly, then resumed the conversation. I mean really, what was he going to do? You can get a mouse cornered with little difficulty, but then you just stare each other down until he either wins you over with his frightened, beady little eyes, quivering whiskers, and pink nose, or he finds a hole. 

But today I heard some rustling near the garbage can. So (quite unnaturally for the normal human being) I checked it out. No little ball of fur came running out, so I assumed gravity was working on the trash. Later my dad came home, and I heard some rustling again, and again (still unnaturally) checked it out. "Do you hear a mouse?" Dad asked. "I thought so." I replied. He came over to take a look and said, "Sometimes they get caught in the garbage and you can hear them moving around." I looked at him. "And then do they stay there until you throw them out?" He shook his head. "They jump out at your face and scare you." But he said it with such factual calm that I simply replied, "Oh." I only realized the idiocy while he was walking away. Wait, why aren't we freaking out about this and dumping rat poison over every walkable surface? Who cares if cats turn my eyes into swollen, dripping, pink globules, or make me sneeze the whole alphabet in one go? Let's get our rears over the the shelter and bring the whole load back now! 

I think I should note, just for the sake of clarity, that his last cat died of a protruding brain tumor. And today one of Dad's horses (affectionately named Broohah) tried to eat my shoe--while my foot was still in it. I think this will be a very interesting summer indeed, especially if I end up sleeping outside in the car where no mouse can enter. 

Good Things To Eat

These amazing bits of pastry were created be Beyond Frosting

Yes, that is the sound of your mouth watering.

This is a red velvet cupcake at this little cafe Sascha took me to, and you better believe it was as delicious as it looks.

Sascha herself is quite delectable. 

Hard boiled eggs are typically not that amazing of a menu item, but the flavor is enhanced tremendously when you write silly little things on them.

Nature and Things.

This is a combo of all the little nature walks I've taken lately. I enjoyed it, so you should too.

Jenny breaking the law (typical). 

Pretty tulips between two fences.

A black cat that stalked me and later appeared in my dreams.

I picked up an application, I'm just waiting to see if I'm accepted...

A pretty house with a red door. 

Some one was desperate in their camping desires, so they settled down directly behind this trailer, never mind the fact that the entire acre was empty.