Sometimes, k--lots of the times, I wish I was funnier. Or like... a spewing fountain of awesome things. The kind of person who when she opens her mouth the room goes quiet and the crowd waits with bated breath, thinking "Oh this is gonna be so freaking awesome!!"

But, alas, I am not this person. Instead when I want to tell a story (like last night while closing up shop with my coworker) I start too quietly and no one notices. So I have to try again, louder, which makes it come out like an accidental push on the car horn, startling us all. Then I proceed to wind my way through my tale, getting lost and sidetracked with random details, and when I notice how sidetracked I am it takes much forceful stuttering to get back on track. And by the time I finish the story we're all exhausted and confused, wondering what just happened.

It's probably not that bad. Last night was most likely aberrant (take that GRE!) because I was overdosed on jelly bellies and having a rough day due to my footwear and tight ponytail.